Forgiveness

Maybe it is just me...but I'm pretty sure it's not. But anyways...I feel like a lot of people get the word "forgiveness" misconstrued. I know I was one of those people, and I kinda feel like I still do sometimes. However, I also feel like it is almost meant to be so.

Just because you say the words "I forgive (you,them, him, her, myself, you guys)" does not mean you have actually done the act of forgiving.

Forgiveness, in my recent experiences, is like an experience...emotion, only manifesting itself after the release of other emotions.

I was the type of person to always say "I forgive (you, them, him, here, myself, you guys)", but know in my heart that I hadn't really done so. It was basically just a means of having others, and even myself at times, feel better about a situation at that point in time.

I think a lot of this has to do with the cliche "Forgive, but never forget." A quote I'm sure many, if not most, live by...in a sense, I now feel like if you forgive, you have to forget. Let me explain.

Like I said earlier...forgiveness is an emotion only brought about after the release of other emotions. Any feelings of resentment in need of forgiveness will be an effect of a certain circumstance. So, in order to forgive someone or some group of people for their actions, from my understanding and experiences, one must also be willing to forgive them for the emotions their actions caused you to feel, and then release those feelings.

Now, I definitely agree with the literal meaning of the cliche mentioned above, and still live by such cliche. However, I now realize that, for me...while I know I won't forget what circumstances came about that caused me to forgive, I must make the best attempt possible to forget the feelings that were brought about. By allowing these feelings to impede on the progress of forgiveness, true forgiveness cannot occur, rather an empty shell resembling the thought of forgiveness, which contains nothing of meaning inside, manifesting itself.

Until recently, through much self-reflection, and a conversation with one of my homeboys (big ups to B-Movin!), I've come to the conclusion that the thought of forgiveness is great. However, true forgiveness takes more than just words...and actions. It takes a true and thorough soul-searching, allowing yourself to ask one simple question...Can you move on past the feelings that were caused by whatever circumstance? If you can't get past those feelings, which isn't all bad, then true forgiveness cannot occur.

And, in the act of forgiveness, only one element can help in the process, and that's time.

Just like a superficial cut, you emotions, your heart, feelings, and anything related, needs time to heal. Eventually, those feelings will scab over, and become normal. However, some instances may cause the emotional skin to become scarred...symbolizing those instances where a souvenir of that circumstance will always exist...but most times, over time of course...you will forget the pain you went through to get that scar. So I tend to think of forgiveness that way. The minute I realize I can get past the pain I went through before the scar appeared, the process of forgiveness can progress.

Just wanted to get that off my chest. Tell me what you think.