Anyone ever felt like they trap themselves in situations they really can't separate themselves from? Actually, better question. Anyone ever find it hard to seek solace in themselves after giving so much of yourself to other people and their situations, socially and emotionally, that it seems as if there is no chance of receiving your own space?
One thing about me and my ideas of friendship...I give my all. I don't hold back. I will go out my way to be a friend to somebody I consider a friend.
Another thing about that though, I feel like sometimes by me going out my way, I forget how to get back to myself, and I don't want other people helping me to navigate my way back. I think it's the thought of other people following me back to my own personal safe zone that I attempt to keep quarantined from the rest of the world that keeps me from doing so.
I feel like I spend so much of my time in other people's worlds, making sure everything with them is great and less chaotic, thinking that it will have a direct effect on my world, making it more peaceful and settled. Funny thing is, for a certain amount of time, it actually does feel that way...like nothing is wrong.
I've come to a few realizations though. At least I feel like I have.
1. Peace and tranquility in anybody never lasts forever. - As much as I love helping people through situations, once I feel like I've helped through a situation, I admittedly feel like things will be good for a while. Often times, it's not the case, and I usually find myself going back and helping out again. I think it's just the feeling of knowing what it's like when other people feel at peace and me not wanting them to experience otherwise for any longer than they have to that motivates me to keep doing it. If I have energy to give to someone, which I always pretty much keep reserved, I'll give it. And I won't think twice about it. I'll find the extra energy if I need to, not leaving any for myself knowing I'll get the energy back. All the while I'm more than sure that they'll end up happy without those issues ever arising again. Psyche.
2. Solving other people's issues do not automatically solve my own. - When other people are happy and peaceful, I'm happy and peaceful.......for a limited time. After a while, I realize that I will eventually have to return to my own problems and issues, those of which I let nobody truly see, solve, or empathize with. Often times...okay I'm being honest. I don't like to have to solve my own issues. I DEFINITELY don't like people helping me to solve my issues. I just have a feeling that my issues will just kindly go away as time passes. Instead, I love being able to help people with their own tribulations. I am very capable of empathizing with other people and giving unbiased advice. I also tend to give my views on the issue just for other people to see what another person may think as opposed to telling them what would be best for them. I basically allow people to think for themselves, which I think is best. When I see people happy, I feel happy just based off the fact that they are feeling better than they had been. That little sense of happiness tends to make me forget about all the things that had been bothering me. With that, I tend to hope solving other people's issues will, in some way or another, provide a solution to my own problems. It never does.
3. Hiding the issues in the closet do not solve the problems. - Y'all know how your parents would tell you to clean your room back when you were a kid *or if you're a kid now, or if your parents still tell you to clean your room*, and instead, you would just throw everything in the closet, making the room seem apparently clean? For that time being, the room is clean, until you open your closet door and everything comes tumbling out, realizing you have to go through everything eventually but remain satisfied in re-stuffing your closet, saying "I'll get to it later" while stuffing whatever mess has accumulated in with initial mess. I feel like I handle my issues the same way. At first, it's not too much of a bother to where I feel like I absolutely have to handle them right away, so I don't. In my mind, I'll be okay. Then something else ends up happening. I feel like I can handle it, but I don't want to at the moment. In the closet it goes. I find other stuff to do and help other people clean up their issues, all the while forgetting about the mess I have in my closet. After being tired from whatever activities I was doing, I go in my closet, and I view the mess. Overwhelmed, I leave it alone, saying "I'll get to it later." And the cycle continues until, eventually, I can no longer fit anything into the closet, and it becomes this enormous task that seems impossible to finish. Yet and still, I don't want help cleaning it up because I don't want people to see what I've been stuffing in my closet and neglecting to handle. Temporary happiness is just that. Temporary. As opposed to handling the issue when it's very minor compared to how it can progress and become something major, I become complacent with the idea of temporary blocks of happiness, thinking in this mind state that eventually it'll be permanent without much confrontation with my own demons. Doesn't work.
4. You can't give to others what you can't give to yourself. - I always tell people that "Sometimes, you aren't being selfish by being selfish." Doing what's best for you without regard to other people is the best thing you can do for other people. Of course I'm the hard-headed person that doesn't listen to the things I say. As I said earlier, I'll give everything I have, and more, towards my friendships with other people, with the thought in mind that I'll somehow have something for myself. Question, how can you have something for anything if you give it all to something else? You can't.
In essence, I realize that I do everything that I don't want, or really allow, other people to do. Honestly, I haven't exactly figured that all out yet, but it is a realization nonetheless. Also, with all that, I'm so wrapped up in what I do for others that I fail to acknowledge what needs to be done for myself. Sometimes, it's almost like I forget how to, and in my quest to re-figure that out, I almost gather a following of people that want to return the favor I kinda don't want. So I never complete that quest. I'd just rather dwell in others' issues with the mission of making them better, in hopes that one day, everything will be good and I can...in a sense...sneak away and take refuge in my own messy closet.
But like I said, people will always have issues. Including myself.
Where do I balance?
How do I balance?
Why can't I involve others?
Why do I involve myself SO much when I know I don't allow reciprocity?
Am I being fair? Not only to myself, but to others?
So many questions. So many answers.
I bet the answers are buried somewhere in my messy closet.
Showing posts with label Self-Improvement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-Improvement. Show all posts
Friday, May 21, 2010
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Quotable
If dollars make sense to you...I assure you that your lifestyle will be BROKE! Let your sense make dollars people!
--Me
--Me
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Man Rule #4
Please do not settle for being "Boyfriend #2"!!!!!
I already find it annoying when ladies feel they need a second (+) boyfriend, but it's even more annoying, as well as degrading to my gender, when I hear males actually referring to themselves as such or try to put themselves in a position to be so. I mean, word?!
First of all, when has it EVER been alright to be second? I was always under the impression that "Second place is the first place loser." By being this "Boyfriend #2", you're really being a loser! A LOSER!
Secondly, do you not have the confidence to get your own girl? You have to go after someone elses to get off? You're actually comfortable with renting? Do you think you are leasing to own? Nah, you're renting, and eventually you'll be evicted, or your lease will expire, and you're okay with that?
Now, if you are okay with this and don't mind being this so-called "Boyfriend #2", then okay. You can stop reading this right now. This series is called MAN Rules, and any real MAN would not settle for being second best in a female's life. So deductively, you'd still be a lil nigga; so please proceed with your life.
To those that actually like to see yourselves as men, let's be real now! There is nothing masculine about being #2. Real talk, and excuse my French, but you're being a bitch! Or maybe I'm just one of a few men that doesn't wanna be where some other man's penis happens to be on a regular basis. I don't see the point. Especially when there are SO MANY other qualified women in the world that would love your attention and time.
Think about it this way. Let's say you happen to be that ONE lucky guy that was upgraded from #2 to #1. Will you be able to sleep comfortably at night knowing that you got what you wanted, or would you be up wondering who her NEW #2 is? If she was able to make you a #2, what makes you think she can't do the same with someone else? Another scenario. Let's say you decided to make some female your girl. You actually put the time in to make it a serious relationship. How many believe in karma? How would you feel if, even though you may have done nothing to her previously, she went out and got a #2? Would you be mad *although you'd be a hypocrite if you were*, or would you just be ok with the fact that you're still #1 *which would make you a bitch*?
Personally, I could never be a "Boyfriend #2." First of all, if I was gonna put myself in that position, I would not like the fact that I'm considered #2. I mean, I'm a top-notch brother, at least I'd like to think so. I got a good head on my shoulders, healthy, intelligent, empathetic, easy to talk to, extra understanding, caring, and blase blase. So why in the world would I...oh and mad handsome! lol *for those that wanna say I'm cocky or conceited or something like that, just save it. I really don't care. I'm just sayin what I feel and what others have told me*...but why in the world would I settle for being somebody's #2 when I can be somebody else's #1 and be damn good at it? I know I'm not the only one that feels that way. Also, women are ultimately looking for that type brother that will compliment them and could potentially be a life partner, and I PROMISE you, if you are allowing and settling yourself to be a #2 in a female's life now, what is the chance any female will see you as ANYBODY's undisputed #1?
I also happen to be a firm believer in karma. You get what you put out. You reap what you sow. All of that. I believe in it, and trust me, it's through personal experience that I can say that. So with that, I could never get into a situation with someone I know already has a significant other. I try my best not to be a hypocrite, and I know I'd be livid if I found out my chick happened to be messin' with some other dude on the side. So I'm not gonna be the type of person I'd be mad at. *Typically, I'd mainly be mad at the chick anyways since she's more responsible. But most times, dudes know the girl is in a relationship. They just don't care. As long as they smash...kinda sad...*
With all of this, at the end of the day, boyfriend #2 seems like a triflin' type nigga though don't he? I think so. lol
Now I'm not judging anybody that happens to love being in that position either. Just simply stating my beliefs on how a MAN should act. So for those who happen to be boyfriend #2 right now, or is trying to get themselves into a position to be so, do not take personal offense. I'm just speaking on my personal views and ideas of such a title in regards to being a man. You do you. I'm just sayin' though...
And ladies I don't care what Pleasure P got to say either, but "if you got a man and a 'buddy' on the side" you should NOT be saying YEEEAAAA!! Lowkey, it's just a subliminal message "allowing" you to act like a garden tool, which is never acceptable. Just keeping it real. More power to you if you like having multiple boyfriends though. If you got the power to have men wanna be with you when you're with someone else...hey work it. I'm just sayin' though...
Big ups to B. Meagley for inspiring me with the idea to write on this topic.
I already find it annoying when ladies feel they need a second (+) boyfriend, but it's even more annoying, as well as degrading to my gender, when I hear males actually referring to themselves as such or try to put themselves in a position to be so. I mean, word?!
First of all, when has it EVER been alright to be second? I was always under the impression that "Second place is the first place loser." By being this "Boyfriend #2", you're really being a loser! A LOSER!
Secondly, do you not have the confidence to get your own girl? You have to go after someone elses to get off? You're actually comfortable with renting? Do you think you are leasing to own? Nah, you're renting, and eventually you'll be evicted, or your lease will expire, and you're okay with that?
Now, if you are okay with this and don't mind being this so-called "Boyfriend #2", then okay. You can stop reading this right now. This series is called MAN Rules, and any real MAN would not settle for being second best in a female's life. So deductively, you'd still be a lil nigga; so please proceed with your life.
To those that actually like to see yourselves as men, let's be real now! There is nothing masculine about being #2. Real talk, and excuse my French, but you're being a bitch! Or maybe I'm just one of a few men that doesn't wanna be where some other man's penis happens to be on a regular basis. I don't see the point. Especially when there are SO MANY other qualified women in the world that would love your attention and time.
Think about it this way. Let's say you happen to be that ONE lucky guy that was upgraded from #2 to #1. Will you be able to sleep comfortably at night knowing that you got what you wanted, or would you be up wondering who her NEW #2 is? If she was able to make you a #2, what makes you think she can't do the same with someone else? Another scenario. Let's say you decided to make some female your girl. You actually put the time in to make it a serious relationship. How many believe in karma? How would you feel if, even though you may have done nothing to her previously, she went out and got a #2? Would you be mad *although you'd be a hypocrite if you were*, or would you just be ok with the fact that you're still #1 *which would make you a bitch*?
Personally, I could never be a "Boyfriend #2." First of all, if I was gonna put myself in that position, I would not like the fact that I'm considered #2. I mean, I'm a top-notch brother, at least I'd like to think so. I got a good head on my shoulders, healthy, intelligent, empathetic, easy to talk to, extra understanding, caring, and blase blase. So why in the world would I...oh and mad handsome! lol *for those that wanna say I'm cocky or conceited or something like that, just save it. I really don't care. I'm just sayin what I feel and what others have told me*...but why in the world would I settle for being somebody's #2 when I can be somebody else's #1 and be damn good at it? I know I'm not the only one that feels that way. Also, women are ultimately looking for that type brother that will compliment them and could potentially be a life partner, and I PROMISE you, if you are allowing and settling yourself to be a #2 in a female's life now, what is the chance any female will see you as ANYBODY's undisputed #1?
I also happen to be a firm believer in karma. You get what you put out. You reap what you sow. All of that. I believe in it, and trust me, it's through personal experience that I can say that. So with that, I could never get into a situation with someone I know already has a significant other. I try my best not to be a hypocrite, and I know I'd be livid if I found out my chick happened to be messin' with some other dude on the side. So I'm not gonna be the type of person I'd be mad at. *Typically, I'd mainly be mad at the chick anyways since she's more responsible. But most times, dudes know the girl is in a relationship. They just don't care. As long as they smash...kinda sad...*
With all of this, at the end of the day, boyfriend #2 seems like a triflin' type nigga though don't he? I think so. lol
Now I'm not judging anybody that happens to love being in that position either. Just simply stating my beliefs on how a MAN should act. So for those who happen to be boyfriend #2 right now, or is trying to get themselves into a position to be so, do not take personal offense. I'm just speaking on my personal views and ideas of such a title in regards to being a man. You do you. I'm just sayin' though...
And ladies I don't care what Pleasure P got to say either, but "if you got a man and a 'buddy' on the side" you should NOT be saying YEEEAAAA!! Lowkey, it's just a subliminal message "allowing" you to act like a garden tool, which is never acceptable. Just keeping it real. More power to you if you like having multiple boyfriends though. If you got the power to have men wanna be with you when you're with someone else...hey work it. I'm just sayin' though...
Big ups to B. Meagley for inspiring me with the idea to write on this topic.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Blood Is Thicker Than Ice Cream...lol
As I depart for the evening...you know I can't go without doing this.
Another birthday shoutout to a fellow McGuffie.
Real talk...I really can't picture any moment of my life before his birth. For as long as I can remember, he's been there. It's almost as if he's like my twin...but he's not. lol. but yea man...it's funny. We're almost like polar opposites in a sense. I'm very outgoing. He's not quite so. I love dancing. He doesn't. He loves hats. I can care less about them. I love keeping peace. He just makes sure his point gets across at any cost. I love to push myself to the most of my abilities, yet fail to understand what my limits are sometimes. He will rarely push himself, yet he is fully aware of his capabilities.
But we ALWAYS have each other's back. Always. We'll listen to each other most times before we listen to our parents. lol but yea man...this my brother man.
Happy Birthday to yet another younger brother that's bigger than me, Drew Aaron McGuffie!! Kid turned 20 today. Show some love!
Picture may be a bit blurry...but whatever, you get the point!
Another birthday shoutout to a fellow McGuffie.
Real talk...I really can't picture any moment of my life before his birth. For as long as I can remember, he's been there. It's almost as if he's like my twin...but he's not. lol. but yea man...it's funny. We're almost like polar opposites in a sense. I'm very outgoing. He's not quite so. I love dancing. He doesn't. He loves hats. I can care less about them. I love keeping peace. He just makes sure his point gets across at any cost. I love to push myself to the most of my abilities, yet fail to understand what my limits are sometimes. He will rarely push himself, yet he is fully aware of his capabilities.
But we ALWAYS have each other's back. Always. We'll listen to each other most times before we listen to our parents. lol but yea man...this my brother man.
Happy Birthday to yet another younger brother that's bigger than me, Drew Aaron McGuffie!! Kid turned 20 today. Show some love!
Picture may be a bit blurry...but whatever, you get the point!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Man Rule #3
Take responsibility for your actions!!!
I was at dinner with @CoaJenae and @_JBo when I was inspired to write this topic.
It's really quite simple, and it doesn't need to be written...but I'm going to write this anyways as it is always a good reminder, as well as a way for higher self-edification.
If you did something...damn...just say so. There ain't no need to try to hide what you did. No need to deny it. No need to water it down. No need to be vague about it. Just be real about it. It is what it is. Men always think they gotta get away with doing something...like it's a notch on your belt for doing so. That's just immature, real talk. Man up.
For those men that are "man" enough to have unprotected sex, and then "accidentally" get the girl pregnant...man up! I see too many single mothers out there because the man responsible either straight dipped on her, claimed "that baby is not mine" on some Maury type ish, or is around and just not taking part in they're life...all the while with some other chick bout to start a family with her. Yea, there are other scenarios...females trip too...but I'm speaking to the men right now. No matter what the situation is, we as men need to man up to our actions.
You feel like you need to cheat, damn just break up with your chick. So simple. Why go through all the sneaking around with having that side chick, all the while lyin' to your main just to save your skin? And then when your main confronts you, askin' what you doin, why you gonna deny it, just allowing more room to hurt her in the end? If yall haven't noticed, when the woman asks you if you sneakin' around, 8 times out of 10 they already know, and just wanna see you can be a man about it.
I'm not sayin' let's we as men stop making mistakes. We're human first...and as humans...things happen. It's life. We're gonna mess up. There's nothing wrong with that. That's what forgiveness is for. That's how you learn. But, when stuff does happen, let's man up and take responsibility for what happened. What do I mean by "man up?" Being able to admit wrong in what we are responsible for...being able to accept the consequences of our actions as opposed to trying to duck and dodge them...being able to maintain honesty and integrity (especially integrity) in any and all situations...being able to stand firm in what you believe in and not waiver with the wind...understanding what is more important in the grand scheme of things and acting accordingly...knowing when to put your pride aside...and so on and so forth, I'm sure yall get the gist by now.
All a man has is his word and his balls. In other words, if anything, the two things that should matter most to men are what they say, and what they do about what they say and how they do it (and keeping your balls intact of course. lol). Let's keep that in mind.
Let's stop with all the BS and further propellin' the negative image of men around the world. Let's be real...man up! I guarantee you, people...male and female...will have SO MUCH MORE respect for you if you do.
HOLLA!!!!!
I was at dinner with @CoaJenae and @_JBo when I was inspired to write this topic.
It's really quite simple, and it doesn't need to be written...but I'm going to write this anyways as it is always a good reminder, as well as a way for higher self-edification.
If you did something...damn...just say so. There ain't no need to try to hide what you did. No need to deny it. No need to water it down. No need to be vague about it. Just be real about it. It is what it is. Men always think they gotta get away with doing something...like it's a notch on your belt for doing so. That's just immature, real talk. Man up.
For those men that are "man" enough to have unprotected sex, and then "accidentally" get the girl pregnant...man up! I see too many single mothers out there because the man responsible either straight dipped on her, claimed "that baby is not mine" on some Maury type ish, or is around and just not taking part in they're life...all the while with some other chick bout to start a family with her. Yea, there are other scenarios...females trip too...but I'm speaking to the men right now. No matter what the situation is, we as men need to man up to our actions.
You feel like you need to cheat, damn just break up with your chick. So simple. Why go through all the sneaking around with having that side chick, all the while lyin' to your main just to save your skin? And then when your main confronts you, askin' what you doin, why you gonna deny it, just allowing more room to hurt her in the end? If yall haven't noticed, when the woman asks you if you sneakin' around, 8 times out of 10 they already know, and just wanna see you can be a man about it.
I'm not sayin' let's we as men stop making mistakes. We're human first...and as humans...things happen. It's life. We're gonna mess up. There's nothing wrong with that. That's what forgiveness is for. That's how you learn. But, when stuff does happen, let's man up and take responsibility for what happened. What do I mean by "man up?" Being able to admit wrong in what we are responsible for...being able to accept the consequences of our actions as opposed to trying to duck and dodge them...being able to maintain honesty and integrity (especially integrity) in any and all situations...being able to stand firm in what you believe in and not waiver with the wind...understanding what is more important in the grand scheme of things and acting accordingly...knowing when to put your pride aside...and so on and so forth, I'm sure yall get the gist by now.
All a man has is his word and his balls. In other words, if anything, the two things that should matter most to men are what they say, and what they do about what they say and how they do it (and keeping your balls intact of course. lol). Let's keep that in mind.
Let's stop with all the BS and further propellin' the negative image of men around the world. Let's be real...man up! I guarantee you, people...male and female...will have SO MUCH MORE respect for you if you do.
HOLLA!!!!!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Just wanted to weigh my opinion
I may get a little backlash for this...but oh well. This whole "voicing my opinion" thing I've started to do on a more normal basis recently has gotten me into a LOT of trouble before...I'll be aiite. lol
but before anyone wants to comment or completely dismiss everything I'm saying, I ask that you read this all the way through and truly think deep about this...ok?....ok.
Chris Brown.
*I already hear all of the "Ahh HELL naw!!!"s*
But when is everyone gonna let this go? Yea he screwed up, royally I might add. But how long are we gonna dwell on this?
First of all, I see people commenting about how they won't forget what Chris Brown did like they personally got beat by him. He didn't do anything to yall. He doesn't even know yall. So why act so hurt by it? That was probably ok back in February when it happened, but it's July now going on August. Be real.
Secondly...why are people so caught up on what Rihanna is doing? Yea, she been chillin' with Chris it seems. Why? That's beyond me. However, if that's her decision, then yo...leave that be. Obviously she's gotten to a point where she's gotten past it and wants to move on with her life how she sees fit...so let her do so. It seems like she's forgiven him, if not completely then at least to a certain extent. So why can't we? And nobody should sit there and say, "I could never forgive something like that!" BS! The only thing that's unforgivable is speaking blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. *but I'm not gonna go there* Any other crime, sin, wrongdoing is very capable of being forgiven of. So if Rihanna can forgive, as it seems she's done in some capacity, what's stopping you? There's really no excuse.
Chris Brown made a very huge mistake. There's no denying that. And he's paying his price for it. So why can't we all just let him learn from his mistake and grow from it? Like any of us haven't made any mistakes we needed forgiveness from. Keep in mind...I'm not talking about the magnitude of his wrongdoing, however just the act of a wrongdoing in general. Think about it like this...if Chris was your older or younger brother, and he did that...would you not want everybody to forgive him and give him a second chance? Imagine your own brother doing something like that to someone...you would probably be sickened by his actions, but you'd forgive him. And you'd hope others could too and chalk it up to a mistake made. That's all this really is at the end of the day.
And it would be one thing if he did what he did and left it as it was. He's not doing that though. Yea he has his mandatory volunteer work or whatever. But he's been talking to his pastor and seeking counseling to help him with what happened. He's trying to improve from it, and you can't knock the man for that. Allow the man to improve. Now if he comes out of all of this better, and seriously never makes that same mistake...then it's all worth it. But everyone has to allow time for that to occur. Now if he was to relapse and do that again...then yea shun him from society...make him Run It Run It with OG Triple OG...all of that.
Back to Rihanna going back and kickin' it with homie...ask yourselves this question...and keep in mind I'm not talking about the magnitude in which Chris Brown did his wrongdoing, but just somebody doing you wrong in general. How many times has somebody done you wrong, in one way or another, and yet and still you find time to hang out with him/her? Why did you find it appropriate to do so? Maybe cuz you forgave him...chalked it up to a mistake. Maybe just for comfortability's sake. Whatever the case may be...I'm pretty sure most everyone reading this has done so. Hell, I'm doing it now. Yea I've been done wrong in the past *that's another blog entry if I ever REALLY feel like opening up lol, probably won't though since it's in the past, I know some of yall understand though* but I can look past certain things and keep it moving. Now I'm not saying forget...of course not. But it seems some people are blending forgetting with forgiving...which isn't cool. Everyone deserves to be forgiven...in the case of Rihanna and Chris...he deserves to be forgiven. Now if Rihanna chooses to never be around him again...then hey...that's her decision. But it's also her decision if she does like being around him. Just because he made that one mistake doesn't mean he's now a horrible person...just a guy that made a mistake.
I hope that when I say forgive the man, that people think I'm suggesting things be the way they were before. That's a huge hell no. He definitely has to work his way back into the arms of the people, work for his previous status and all that. But we can't deny him that chance. You know what the funny thing about this is? If this were to happen to somebody like Gucci Mane or somebody like that, people would pretty much write it off. And it's true...check out GUCCI!. yea people would argue the circumstances were different or not as big or WHATEVER, but the fact is he did the same thing Chris did, which was assault a female, which is NEVER ok...but it's still forgivable.
In closing...you don't have to like the man...you don't have to listen to his music anymore...buy doublemint gum...whatever! But at least forgive the man and let him do him and pretend he never existed instead of always wanting to put your two cents in on the situation, knowing it's always going to be a negative comment. He doesn't need that, and neither do you. He's trying to progress...and if you wanna give negative comments all the time...how much better of a person does that make you? And yea, Rihanna might be chillin with Chris still. Let her! It's her life, and she obviously has an idea as to what she's doing. No need to comment about it or judge her for it. Honestly, I'm proud of her for being able to forgive and still being able to do what she is doing without really showing the public the adverse effects I'm sure that situation had on her. It really shows her confidence, security, resilience, and overall maturity as a person, IMO at least. So more power to them both.
I think that's all I really wanted to say about that. Questions, comments, concerns? Let me know.
HOLLA!!!!!
but before anyone wants to comment or completely dismiss everything I'm saying, I ask that you read this all the way through and truly think deep about this...ok?....ok.
Chris Brown.
*I already hear all of the "Ahh HELL naw!!!"s*
But when is everyone gonna let this go? Yea he screwed up, royally I might add. But how long are we gonna dwell on this?
First of all, I see people commenting about how they won't forget what Chris Brown did like they personally got beat by him. He didn't do anything to yall. He doesn't even know yall. So why act so hurt by it? That was probably ok back in February when it happened, but it's July now going on August. Be real.
Secondly...why are people so caught up on what Rihanna is doing? Yea, she been chillin' with Chris it seems. Why? That's beyond me. However, if that's her decision, then yo...leave that be. Obviously she's gotten to a point where she's gotten past it and wants to move on with her life how she sees fit...so let her do so. It seems like she's forgiven him, if not completely then at least to a certain extent. So why can't we? And nobody should sit there and say, "I could never forgive something like that!" BS! The only thing that's unforgivable is speaking blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. *but I'm not gonna go there* Any other crime, sin, wrongdoing is very capable of being forgiven of. So if Rihanna can forgive, as it seems she's done in some capacity, what's stopping you? There's really no excuse.
Chris Brown made a very huge mistake. There's no denying that. And he's paying his price for it. So why can't we all just let him learn from his mistake and grow from it? Like any of us haven't made any mistakes we needed forgiveness from. Keep in mind...I'm not talking about the magnitude of his wrongdoing, however just the act of a wrongdoing in general. Think about it like this...if Chris was your older or younger brother, and he did that...would you not want everybody to forgive him and give him a second chance? Imagine your own brother doing something like that to someone...you would probably be sickened by his actions, but you'd forgive him. And you'd hope others could too and chalk it up to a mistake made. That's all this really is at the end of the day.
And it would be one thing if he did what he did and left it as it was. He's not doing that though. Yea he has his mandatory volunteer work or whatever. But he's been talking to his pastor and seeking counseling to help him with what happened. He's trying to improve from it, and you can't knock the man for that. Allow the man to improve. Now if he comes out of all of this better, and seriously never makes that same mistake...then it's all worth it. But everyone has to allow time for that to occur. Now if he was to relapse and do that again...then yea shun him from society...make him Run It Run It with OG Triple OG...all of that.
Back to Rihanna going back and kickin' it with homie...ask yourselves this question...and keep in mind I'm not talking about the magnitude in which Chris Brown did his wrongdoing, but just somebody doing you wrong in general. How many times has somebody done you wrong, in one way or another, and yet and still you find time to hang out with him/her? Why did you find it appropriate to do so? Maybe cuz you forgave him...chalked it up to a mistake. Maybe just for comfortability's sake. Whatever the case may be...I'm pretty sure most everyone reading this has done so. Hell, I'm doing it now. Yea I've been done wrong in the past *that's another blog entry if I ever REALLY feel like opening up lol, probably won't though since it's in the past, I know some of yall understand though* but I can look past certain things and keep it moving. Now I'm not saying forget...of course not. But it seems some people are blending forgetting with forgiving...which isn't cool. Everyone deserves to be forgiven...in the case of Rihanna and Chris...he deserves to be forgiven. Now if Rihanna chooses to never be around him again...then hey...that's her decision. But it's also her decision if she does like being around him. Just because he made that one mistake doesn't mean he's now a horrible person...just a guy that made a mistake.
I hope that when I say forgive the man, that people think I'm suggesting things be the way they were before. That's a huge hell no. He definitely has to work his way back into the arms of the people, work for his previous status and all that. But we can't deny him that chance. You know what the funny thing about this is? If this were to happen to somebody like Gucci Mane or somebody like that, people would pretty much write it off. And it's true...check out GUCCI!. yea people would argue the circumstances were different or not as big or WHATEVER, but the fact is he did the same thing Chris did, which was assault a female, which is NEVER ok...but it's still forgivable.
In closing...you don't have to like the man...you don't have to listen to his music anymore...buy doublemint gum...whatever! But at least forgive the man and let him do him and pretend he never existed instead of always wanting to put your two cents in on the situation, knowing it's always going to be a negative comment. He doesn't need that, and neither do you. He's trying to progress...and if you wanna give negative comments all the time...how much better of a person does that make you? And yea, Rihanna might be chillin with Chris still. Let her! It's her life, and she obviously has an idea as to what she's doing. No need to comment about it or judge her for it. Honestly, I'm proud of her for being able to forgive and still being able to do what she is doing without really showing the public the adverse effects I'm sure that situation had on her. It really shows her confidence, security, resilience, and overall maturity as a person, IMO at least. So more power to them both.
I think that's all I really wanted to say about that. Questions, comments, concerns? Let me know.
HOLLA!!!!!
Real Talk Vol. 8: Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder
*ok...this is not meant to offend anyone...so read the whole thing before you raise in arms...there is a point...as usual*
Yall know how you be in the club, or at some party, and the DJ would say somethin' to the likes of "If you a pretty female throw your hands in the air and scream!"...and for some reason...EVERYBODY gotta have the nerve to raise their hands up and scream? I know i'm not the only one that thinks that...or has said that either.
I said before that I would speak on what I meant by pretty in a much earlier post...so i'm now doing so.
I always understood that everyone had different preferences concerning what was attractive to them, but I don't think it really hit me until having a few conversations with my brother. Like, I'd see someone on TV or out somewhere and be like "Hey she's cute" only for him to say "Not really."
Pretty. It can't be universally defined. And i'm using the word pretty as a term to encompass all words that serve as synonyms: beauty, glamour, attractiveness, etc. But yea...everyone is going to have their own personal meaning.
Now with that, I feel like people need to learn how to accept the opposite end of that spectrum. Certain people are simply not attractive to other people. There is nothing wrong with that, but people need to learn to accept that and keep life moving. I forget where I was, but one day a month or so back I heard this group of people arguing because some guy supposedly said this girl was not that attractive. I pretty much laughed inside at how silly that argument was. I mean, it's one thing for someone to say such a thing in a disrespective connotation. But if someone is simply giving their opinion, then where's the wrong in that? I know there are people in the world people think are absolutely gorgeous that I don't. Halle Berry for instance. OK nah HORRIBLE example! LOL. People like her and Stacey Dash just go into a pot of automatically BAD!! lol...but ok...I'll just say Raven Symone for now or something. I know people will find her to be mad gorgeous...but she doesn't do it for me.
Back to the people in the club. I feel like some people don't have any business putting their hands up...but that's just my personal opinion. Not being disrespectful by any means...just being honest. But one other conclusion I've come to in thinking about this topic...what does it ULTIMATELY matter what everyone thinks? I would hope that people find themselves attractive. I mean, if you can't find yourself attractive, then why should anyone else? I know for a fact that I'm not attractive to every single female in the world. I personally think I'm handsome as hell. And I'm not saying this egotistically or anything like that, but that's how I feel...and there's nothing wrong with that. I look into the mirror everyday and see a strapping young gentleman! And that's important. If you can't accept that from yourself, you're gonna find it very hard to accept it from somebody else.
Pretty is different for everybody. I know what pretty is for me, which is all that matters in the end. So when I said wayyyyyy before I have an affinity for pretty people, and when I had described CoCo as one of those pretty females, you may disagree with my idea of pretty...and that's cool. Do you. However, in my eyes, that is how beauty is beheld. I won't go into describing what pretty is for me since that really is for my edification only...and I don't want people to try and fit themselves in certain categories that I may mention, cuz it shouldn't matter what I think. But I hope people understand that just because a certain person may not be attractive to another person or group of people, that's not to say that somebody else doesn't find them attractive. And, more importantly, people should always be attractive to themselves, IMO at least. And even MORE importantly, God loves you and will always find you attractive. (Yea that may sound cheesy or whatever, but I'm saying that with the utmost sincerity.)
Same goes for males...but me being a male interested in women, I choose to speak about women. Yall understand.
So...for my pretty people out there reading this...leave a comment and tell me what you think!!!!! ;)
HOLLA!!!!!
Yall know how you be in the club, or at some party, and the DJ would say somethin' to the likes of "If you a pretty female throw your hands in the air and scream!"...and for some reason...EVERYBODY gotta have the nerve to raise their hands up and scream? I know i'm not the only one that thinks that...or has said that either.
I said before that I would speak on what I meant by pretty in a much earlier post...so i'm now doing so.
I always understood that everyone had different preferences concerning what was attractive to them, but I don't think it really hit me until having a few conversations with my brother. Like, I'd see someone on TV or out somewhere and be like "Hey she's cute" only for him to say "Not really."
Pretty. It can't be universally defined. And i'm using the word pretty as a term to encompass all words that serve as synonyms: beauty, glamour, attractiveness, etc. But yea...everyone is going to have their own personal meaning.
Now with that, I feel like people need to learn how to accept the opposite end of that spectrum. Certain people are simply not attractive to other people. There is nothing wrong with that, but people need to learn to accept that and keep life moving. I forget where I was, but one day a month or so back I heard this group of people arguing because some guy supposedly said this girl was not that attractive. I pretty much laughed inside at how silly that argument was. I mean, it's one thing for someone to say such a thing in a disrespective connotation. But if someone is simply giving their opinion, then where's the wrong in that? I know there are people in the world people think are absolutely gorgeous that I don't. Halle Berry for instance. OK nah HORRIBLE example! LOL. People like her and Stacey Dash just go into a pot of automatically BAD!! lol...but ok...I'll just say Raven Symone for now or something. I know people will find her to be mad gorgeous...but she doesn't do it for me.
Back to the people in the club. I feel like some people don't have any business putting their hands up...but that's just my personal opinion. Not being disrespectful by any means...just being honest. But one other conclusion I've come to in thinking about this topic...what does it ULTIMATELY matter what everyone thinks? I would hope that people find themselves attractive. I mean, if you can't find yourself attractive, then why should anyone else? I know for a fact that I'm not attractive to every single female in the world. I personally think I'm handsome as hell. And I'm not saying this egotistically or anything like that, but that's how I feel...and there's nothing wrong with that. I look into the mirror everyday and see a strapping young gentleman! And that's important. If you can't accept that from yourself, you're gonna find it very hard to accept it from somebody else.
Pretty is different for everybody. I know what pretty is for me, which is all that matters in the end. So when I said wayyyyyy before I have an affinity for pretty people, and when I had described CoCo as one of those pretty females, you may disagree with my idea of pretty...and that's cool. Do you. However, in my eyes, that is how beauty is beheld. I won't go into describing what pretty is for me since that really is for my edification only...and I don't want people to try and fit themselves in certain categories that I may mention, cuz it shouldn't matter what I think. But I hope people understand that just because a certain person may not be attractive to another person or group of people, that's not to say that somebody else doesn't find them attractive. And, more importantly, people should always be attractive to themselves, IMO at least. And even MORE importantly, God loves you and will always find you attractive. (Yea that may sound cheesy or whatever, but I'm saying that with the utmost sincerity.)
Same goes for males...but me being a male interested in women, I choose to speak about women. Yall understand.
So...for my pretty people out there reading this...leave a comment and tell me what you think!!!!! ;)
HOLLA!!!!!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Real Talk Vol. 7: Just REAL TALK!!!!!
Amen!
Hallelujah!
Yes!!!!!
I know I've said this plenty of times...but I just don't think it ever seems to hit correctly coming from a guy. So bless this lovely lady for putting this out there! All, and I do mean ALL, women need to see this. Not judging...but real talk...look at this and see if anything here applies in your life. Some may have already known this...but it's a great refresher!
And...real talk...if she wasn't married...she could DEFINITELY get the happiness! I'd be ALL the man she needs. *gnr*
HOLLA!!!!!
Hallelujah!
Yes!!!!!
I know I've said this plenty of times...but I just don't think it ever seems to hit correctly coming from a guy. So bless this lovely lady for putting this out there! All, and I do mean ALL, women need to see this. Not judging...but real talk...look at this and see if anything here applies in your life. Some may have already known this...but it's a great refresher!
And...real talk...if she wasn't married...she could DEFINITELY get the happiness! I'd be ALL the man she needs. *gnr*
HOLLA!!!!!
Man Rule #2
Do not complain about a job you have if you are not in the position to be complaining.
People wanna talk about how unhappy they are at their job, or how they wanna leave whatever company they are with to work for another, or just complain for the sake of complaining. Real talk...that's not becoming of a man.
I know I used to be one of those people at some point...always dreading the hours to come when I'd have to go to work when I knew I couldn't stand the bosses/ disliked what I did. After much reflection, and trying times, for what?
Be happy you got a damn job! Especially in this economy today - *yo that is like the NUMBER TWO used phrase for anything...think about it..."I wanna go on vacation, but in this economy...", or "I wanna go to such and such school, but in this economy...", or even "Normally we'd go to Red Lobster, but...shit in THIS economy..."* - even people with Ph.D's are having troubles and are resorting to baggage handling jobs at Delta just to put food on the table. People are still getting laid off today! And you wanna complain about the job you HAVE?
If you're a true man...and any man will tell you this...but if you're a true man, especially one with a family and obligatory expenses, you are going to do whatever it is you gotta do to put food on the table and get those bills paid. Even if you aren't one of those men with extreme expenses, no man likes to be broke! Period! Yea...times are hard sometimes...but if you can find comfort and solace in being broke...I'm sorry...and not trying to judge you...but you're no man. Yea people like to cry broke here and there...and it may be true. Nothing wrong with that. But if you don't see a problem with it, or if you aren't trying to find a way to improve that situation...then you got some growing to do.
Being real...no man should EVER enjoy being broke. Cuz I assure you, no woman will put up with a man who stay broke and ain't trying to do nothing to fix it! *yea I'm speaking in my non-professional tone right now...so don't you DARE judge my grammar! lol*
Furthermore...since when were you "too good" to do any type of labor? Now...every man should strive for the best. Get that good career with a salary. Grab something with residual income...all that! However...I find it very annoying when I hear a "man" say..."Oh I'm not doing that! That's not for me! I couldn't do that. I'm not gonna get my hands dirty doing that." *Yes I've actually heard everything I've said in this entry.*
smh
Now...should you WANT to do some of those things. Of course not. You probably deserve better and should always strive to do better. However, if those are the cards you dealt...you're not gonna fold them! Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do...and that's just not an option.
I know back in the day I used to say that I'd NEVER work at a fast-food restaurant. I never wanted to. I might have even thought I was "too good" for it. But...as things have turned out now...sometimes that's just what you have to do in order to move forward. You gotta start somewhere and sometimes do things you don't want to do or never saw yourself doing. Now I'm at a fast-food restaurant, sometimes dressing as the freakin' mascot to bring in customers. Why? To tithe, to pay for school, a monthly phone bill, car repairs, other miscellaneous expenses, and to have extra money to save and spend as I please. Now, will I stay there? HELL NO!! I'm on a path of greatness that just happened to start where it started. However, on the way, I won't complain about what is. What is is what is...no use in complaining.
Just wanted to get that off my chest! What you think?
p.s. The NUMBER ONE phrase used for anything is "We in a recession." and no...not "We're in a recession," but "We in a recession!"
HOLLA!!!!!
People wanna talk about how unhappy they are at their job, or how they wanna leave whatever company they are with to work for another, or just complain for the sake of complaining. Real talk...that's not becoming of a man.
I know I used to be one of those people at some point...always dreading the hours to come when I'd have to go to work when I knew I couldn't stand the bosses/ disliked what I did. After much reflection, and trying times, for what?
Be happy you got a damn job! Especially in this economy today - *yo that is like the NUMBER TWO used phrase for anything...think about it..."I wanna go on vacation, but in this economy...", or "I wanna go to such and such school, but in this economy...", or even "Normally we'd go to Red Lobster, but...shit in THIS economy..."* - even people with Ph.D's are having troubles and are resorting to baggage handling jobs at Delta just to put food on the table. People are still getting laid off today! And you wanna complain about the job you HAVE?
If you're a true man...and any man will tell you this...but if you're a true man, especially one with a family and obligatory expenses, you are going to do whatever it is you gotta do to put food on the table and get those bills paid. Even if you aren't one of those men with extreme expenses, no man likes to be broke! Period! Yea...times are hard sometimes...but if you can find comfort and solace in being broke...I'm sorry...and not trying to judge you...but you're no man. Yea people like to cry broke here and there...and it may be true. Nothing wrong with that. But if you don't see a problem with it, or if you aren't trying to find a way to improve that situation...then you got some growing to do.
Being real...no man should EVER enjoy being broke. Cuz I assure you, no woman will put up with a man who stay broke and ain't trying to do nothing to fix it! *yea I'm speaking in my non-professional tone right now...so don't you DARE judge my grammar! lol*
Furthermore...since when were you "too good" to do any type of labor? Now...every man should strive for the best. Get that good career with a salary. Grab something with residual income...all that! However...I find it very annoying when I hear a "man" say..."Oh I'm not doing that! That's not for me! I couldn't do that. I'm not gonna get my hands dirty doing that." *Yes I've actually heard everything I've said in this entry.*
smh
Now...should you WANT to do some of those things. Of course not. You probably deserve better and should always strive to do better. However, if those are the cards you dealt...you're not gonna fold them! Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do...and that's just not an option.
I know back in the day I used to say that I'd NEVER work at a fast-food restaurant. I never wanted to. I might have even thought I was "too good" for it. But...as things have turned out now...sometimes that's just what you have to do in order to move forward. You gotta start somewhere and sometimes do things you don't want to do or never saw yourself doing. Now I'm at a fast-food restaurant, sometimes dressing as the freakin' mascot to bring in customers. Why? To tithe, to pay for school, a monthly phone bill, car repairs, other miscellaneous expenses, and to have extra money to save and spend as I please. Now, will I stay there? HELL NO!! I'm on a path of greatness that just happened to start where it started. However, on the way, I won't complain about what is. What is is what is...no use in complaining.
Just wanted to get that off my chest! What you think?
p.s. The NUMBER ONE phrase used for anything is "We in a recession." and no...not "We're in a recession," but "We in a recession!"
HOLLA!!!!!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Quotable
-- Let us dream of tomorrow where we can truly love from the soul, and know love as the ultimate truth at the heart of all creation.
Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson
New Tagline
It's not what you say...but how you say it.
I don't care what nobody say...that is the perfect quote for this blog!!
Yall think about that in your normal lives.
HOLLA!!!!!
I don't care what nobody say...that is the perfect quote for this blog!!
Yall think about that in your normal lives.
HOLLA!!!!!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Real Talk Vol. 6: Letter to My Queens
Courtesy of my homegirl LoLo...I took this from her. Love ya girl!
"Dear black women of America,
It has been called to my attention that many of us have demonstrated unparalleled amounts of ignorance in a time when we should be banding together to improve our world and make better lives for our children. If you are unclear as to what ignorance and ghetto-ness I speak of, please refer to the guidelines I've given below. As a black woman of today, if you follow these guidelines, you will not only live a happier, healthier life, but you'll have done your part to help eradicate the world of negative black female stereotypes.
1. If you wear weave, please make sure it's Yaki and not past mid-shoulder length. Recent touch ups and properly straightened edges are mandatory.
2. Birth control and condoms work, so PLEASE, use them freely. Note: A negro telling you he loves you is not a written contract that guarantees he is disease free and will pay child support.
3. If you must take a phone call in a public place, please talk at a normal volume and refrain from using curse words.
4. Blue/violet contacts don't work on you, I don't care how light you think you are.
5. There are more ways to express your disapproval in a situation than rolling your head/eyes and looking like you smell something stank. Use your words, they work better.
6. Too tight clothes don't look good on anyone. Wear the size you are...not the size that you think you are. Note: if you have to lay down to zip up your pants, you might want to think about moving up to the next size.
7. If you have kids, please make sure they are clean and look put together when they leave the house.
8. Again, if you have kids, try to limit your "going out" activities to once a week.
9. Instead of spending hours teaching your child the stanky leg, try reading them a damn book.
Finally, ladies, I say to you, this last guideline is the most important of all guidelines...STOP HATING ON EACH OTHER. If you see a sista doing better than you, simply try to find out how she got that way and take a damn note!
Strive for better:
- Instead of finding a baby daddy, work on finding a husband
- Instead of finding a man with a record, find one with a career
- Instead of dealing with a guy who lives with his momma, find one that has a landlord or owns his own property
- Stop dating men whose car costs more than his monthly rent
- If he'd rather spend money on shoes/clothes/cars than saving up for a home, he might not be the best choice for you if you desire stability
- Don't date dude with kids who don't pay child support
Sincerely,
The BLATTDB (Black Ladies of America Trying To Do Better)"
*by way of J.B. Charisma*
And to the men who may feel offended by the "Strive for Better" section, and fit the negatives of that list...then Real Talk... T.I. -- Urban Legend -- Track 10.
HOLLA!!!!!
"Dear black women of America,
It has been called to my attention that many of us have demonstrated unparalleled amounts of ignorance in a time when we should be banding together to improve our world and make better lives for our children. If you are unclear as to what ignorance and ghetto-ness I speak of, please refer to the guidelines I've given below. As a black woman of today, if you follow these guidelines, you will not only live a happier, healthier life, but you'll have done your part to help eradicate the world of negative black female stereotypes.
1. If you wear weave, please make sure it's Yaki and not past mid-shoulder length. Recent touch ups and properly straightened edges are mandatory.
2. Birth control and condoms work, so PLEASE, use them freely. Note: A negro telling you he loves you is not a written contract that guarantees he is disease free and will pay child support.
3. If you must take a phone call in a public place, please talk at a normal volume and refrain from using curse words.
4. Blue/violet contacts don't work on you, I don't care how light you think you are.
5. There are more ways to express your disapproval in a situation than rolling your head/eyes and looking like you smell something stank. Use your words, they work better.
6. Too tight clothes don't look good on anyone. Wear the size you are...not the size that you think you are. Note: if you have to lay down to zip up your pants, you might want to think about moving up to the next size.
7. If you have kids, please make sure they are clean and look put together when they leave the house.
8. Again, if you have kids, try to limit your "going out" activities to once a week.
9. Instead of spending hours teaching your child the stanky leg, try reading them a damn book.
Finally, ladies, I say to you, this last guideline is the most important of all guidelines...STOP HATING ON EACH OTHER. If you see a sista doing better than you, simply try to find out how she got that way and take a damn note!
Strive for better:
- Instead of finding a baby daddy, work on finding a husband
- Instead of finding a man with a record, find one with a career
- Instead of dealing with a guy who lives with his momma, find one that has a landlord or owns his own property
- Stop dating men whose car costs more than his monthly rent
- If he'd rather spend money on shoes/clothes/cars than saving up for a home, he might not be the best choice for you if you desire stability
- Don't date dude with kids who don't pay child support
Sincerely,
The BLATTDB (Black Ladies of America Trying To Do Better)"
*by way of J.B. Charisma*
And to the men who may feel offended by the "Strive for Better" section, and fit the negatives of that list...then Real Talk... T.I. -- Urban Legend -- Track 10.
HOLLA!!!!!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Just Rambling
I just had to say...I'm feelin legit confused. No BS.
If you know me...you know I love music...no...I LOOOOVE music! I live through music. I do everything through/with music. Yes, I mainly listen to hip-hop...but it's far from the only thing...I just...love...music. Everything about it. I always have.
A huge reasoning for my love of music is due to Michael Jackson. Real talk. like...REAL TALK! I remember being at my grandma's house...and she had this black Michael Jackson shirt I ALWAYS wore when I slept over there. And I would be in that shirt, trying to sing his songs and trying to do the moonwalk and the crazy spinning.
It's really sad how people are most remembered AFTER they died. I mean...just as a very small example...Dolla. Not to make him seem unimportant *R.I.P.* but rarely anybody knew him before he died. *By raise of hands...how many even know who I'm talking about?...don't worry...I won't judge you.*
Anyways...yo...I was watching all the tribute shows/music videos/news reports on Michael Jackson today...and it just gets me more and more sad as time goes by. Like...I grew up on this guy...still can sing a good majority of his songs by heart. It's crazy yo. Just thinking about how far music came thanks to him alone.
I think what really started hitting me was looking at how other people were reacting to his death. Like...I was fine at first. But finally getting a chance to see other people's reaction...it really is saddening.
From a musical standpoint...I mean...we just lost the biggest musical icon of all time...the definition of such a term. Like...wow. Even just watching his videos...everything just seems surreal.
I've been listening to his music all day. On repeat. It's just crazy man. I mean...I listened to it when he was alive...but does anybody else feel like everything he said has a much more deeper meaning now that he's gone? How come that's ALWAYS the case? With everything? Vincent Van Gogh...painter. Nobody appreciated his work till AFTER he died. Every great rapper...yes they were considered great rappers...but it's not until AFTER they die that they become untouchable legends. It's just crazy man.
I think what's most hitting me is how much his work went underappreciated. Don't get me wrong...I have always loved his music. But, it's not until he passed that I really was like...WOW...this is just ridiculous. Maybe I just feel like I underappreciated his music now that he's gone...which makes this all time-relative.
As yall may be able to see...I'm really just rambling right now. Trying to make sense of things if you will. Like...wow.
The older I get...the more I appreciate the value of life. I never really felt the pain of a death until my aunt died back in February 2008. I mean, I've known family members that have died, and other friends and acquaintances that have died from my school and whatnot...but I feel like I was young then, cuz it just really takes on another meaning most recently. I've never cried over a death. I've never really felt a heart-wrenching pain caused by a death or anything, the closest being my aunt. But the more I've gotten older...the more life just seems shorter and shorter...and more precious.
Add that with my love of music and music losing something truly great...I guess you can see where I'm going with that.
Or maybe not. Cuz I don't think I do.
yea...
I'm not depressed or anything either...it's just...mad crazy yo!
I just heard something that made me feel better.
Yall know my best friend Wesley. If not...I have a best friend named Wesley. Actually...see Friends.
Anyways...his parents are at my crib now...actin a fool! lol...anyways...they're talking about the Michael Jackson incident now...and they got on talking about him and James Brown and how we lost the both of them. This is what made me feel better. Just so you know...Mom is my mom...and Momma is Wesley's mom *yes I call her Momma*
Mom: "Michael Jackson is gone. James Brown is gone."
Momma: "And we're still here!"
Such a great way to look at it. They live on through us. :)
I really don't know what else to say right now. I really was just rambling. Besides...I have a VERY important enrty to post right now.
If you know me...you know I love music...no...I LOOOOVE music! I live through music. I do everything through/with music. Yes, I mainly listen to hip-hop...but it's far from the only thing...I just...love...music. Everything about it. I always have.
A huge reasoning for my love of music is due to Michael Jackson. Real talk. like...REAL TALK! I remember being at my grandma's house...and she had this black Michael Jackson shirt I ALWAYS wore when I slept over there. And I would be in that shirt, trying to sing his songs and trying to do the moonwalk and the crazy spinning.
It's really sad how people are most remembered AFTER they died. I mean...just as a very small example...Dolla. Not to make him seem unimportant *R.I.P.* but rarely anybody knew him before he died. *By raise of hands...how many even know who I'm talking about?...don't worry...I won't judge you.*
Anyways...yo...I was watching all the tribute shows/music videos/news reports on Michael Jackson today...and it just gets me more and more sad as time goes by. Like...I grew up on this guy...still can sing a good majority of his songs by heart. It's crazy yo. Just thinking about how far music came thanks to him alone.
I think what really started hitting me was looking at how other people were reacting to his death. Like...I was fine at first. But finally getting a chance to see other people's reaction...it really is saddening.
From a musical standpoint...I mean...we just lost the biggest musical icon of all time...the definition of such a term. Like...wow. Even just watching his videos...everything just seems surreal.
I've been listening to his music all day. On repeat. It's just crazy man. I mean...I listened to it when he was alive...but does anybody else feel like everything he said has a much more deeper meaning now that he's gone? How come that's ALWAYS the case? With everything? Vincent Van Gogh...painter. Nobody appreciated his work till AFTER he died. Every great rapper...yes they were considered great rappers...but it's not until AFTER they die that they become untouchable legends. It's just crazy man.
I think what's most hitting me is how much his work went underappreciated. Don't get me wrong...I have always loved his music. But, it's not until he passed that I really was like...WOW...this is just ridiculous. Maybe I just feel like I underappreciated his music now that he's gone...which makes this all time-relative.
As yall may be able to see...I'm really just rambling right now. Trying to make sense of things if you will. Like...wow.
The older I get...the more I appreciate the value of life. I never really felt the pain of a death until my aunt died back in February 2008. I mean, I've known family members that have died, and other friends and acquaintances that have died from my school and whatnot...but I feel like I was young then, cuz it just really takes on another meaning most recently. I've never cried over a death. I've never really felt a heart-wrenching pain caused by a death or anything, the closest being my aunt. But the more I've gotten older...the more life just seems shorter and shorter...and more precious.
Add that with my love of music and music losing something truly great...I guess you can see where I'm going with that.
Or maybe not. Cuz I don't think I do.
yea...
I'm not depressed or anything either...it's just...mad crazy yo!
I just heard something that made me feel better.
Yall know my best friend Wesley. If not...I have a best friend named Wesley. Actually...see Friends.
Anyways...his parents are at my crib now...actin a fool! lol...anyways...they're talking about the Michael Jackson incident now...and they got on talking about him and James Brown and how we lost the both of them. This is what made me feel better. Just so you know...Mom is my mom...and Momma is Wesley's mom *yes I call her Momma*
Mom: "Michael Jackson is gone. James Brown is gone."
Momma: "And we're still here!"
Such a great way to look at it. They live on through us. :)
I really don't know what else to say right now. I really was just rambling. Besides...I have a VERY important enrty to post right now.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
FML
So yea...another new blog series. Pretty self-explanatory. Usually they're gonna just come from the FML site...whatever I think is worthy of being put on my blog, I will copy and paste it here. If something happens in my life that's worth a FML...i'll put that here also. So yea. Here's the first one.
Today, was my birthday. After hinting for almost 2 months for a Wii, my dad pulls out a shiny new Wii Package. The only problem? The box didn't have a Wii in it. My dad gave me a Wii box with my VCR inside and a note saying "This is life. Once you think you're happy, someone crushes it". FML
Today, was my birthday. After hinting for almost 2 months for a Wii, my dad pulls out a shiny new Wii Package. The only problem? The box didn't have a Wii in it. My dad gave me a Wii box with my VCR inside and a note saying "This is life. Once you think you're happy, someone crushes it". FML
Monday, June 22, 2009
Real Talk Vol. 4: Nice guys don't finish last...IMO
Helpful people really do go a long way.
As a person that has worked in some sort of customer service position - whether it be fast food, cashier, telephone representative - done plenty of volunteer opportunities, and just overall raised to be a nice individual, I feel like it isn't only highly impressionable upon other people, but also self-rewarding.
I can definitely say that other people greatly appreciate nice people. I know i'm always given compliments from other people due to how naturally nice I am. Personally, I always try to make it a point to be as nice as possible to people...and hearing from other people how nice I am makes me want to be even nicer. Now...amongst my peers, I may sometimes may come across as a jerk sometimes (see Jerk), but it's truly just being comical and moreso welcoming to other people. I know one of my homegirls Raydia (Ray-Ray) didn't like me when she first met me. *She'll tell you. lol* I used to make a lot of jokes...and that's how I always am. but once anyone gets to truly know me...if you're on my good side...i'm really a nice and caring person...that still got jokes. lol
ok...enough talking about myself.
So yea...I feel like many people need to make a more concerted effort to be nice. Real talk. Not on no sappy, emotional tip either. Like, just for real. I went to McDonald's to get up on their breakfast this morning *I LOOOOVE McDonald's breakfast!*, and i'm making my order...and the lady was just extremely rude! Like you can tell she did not want to be at work, and was very salty for working at McDonald's as a 30+ year old woman taking drive-thru orders. Like yo...that's YOUR fault, but you shouldn't take that out on the other people that just want some damn breakfast!
Don't get me wrong...sometimes people deserve rude behavior and whatnot...and by all means, in those instances it is alright to display such behavior...however sometimes people just go out of their way to be everything but nice. and honestly, it's quite sad.
Maybe it has to do with the cliche "Nice guys finish last." I'm sorry...and excuse my french...but that's bullshit! Maybe in the short run...maybe...but life isn't a 100 meter dash! And even in the short run...is it really worth it? Life is a marathon...you don't wanna run too slow cuz you'll lose...but you don't wanna run too fast...cuz then you'll just get extra tired...and you'll still lose.
"Slow *living* is better than no *living*. Fast *living* don't last too long...you gotta pace it!" Big ups to Lil Wayne - Carter II off of...well...actually that's obvious. lol
Anyways...I say that to say this. I feel like people need to realize that being nice is actually a good thing! And I don't just mean being nice out of your own convenience, but just overall nice. It really does work wonders for other people's day, as well as your own inner being. I'm telling you...I speak from personal experience. It goes a long way!
HOLLA!!!!!
As a person that has worked in some sort of customer service position - whether it be fast food, cashier, telephone representative - done plenty of volunteer opportunities, and just overall raised to be a nice individual, I feel like it isn't only highly impressionable upon other people, but also self-rewarding.
I can definitely say that other people greatly appreciate nice people. I know i'm always given compliments from other people due to how naturally nice I am. Personally, I always try to make it a point to be as nice as possible to people...and hearing from other people how nice I am makes me want to be even nicer. Now...amongst my peers, I may sometimes may come across as a jerk sometimes (see Jerk), but it's truly just being comical and moreso welcoming to other people. I know one of my homegirls Raydia (Ray-Ray) didn't like me when she first met me. *She'll tell you. lol* I used to make a lot of jokes...and that's how I always am. but once anyone gets to truly know me...if you're on my good side...i'm really a nice and caring person...that still got jokes. lol
ok...enough talking about myself.
So yea...I feel like many people need to make a more concerted effort to be nice. Real talk. Not on no sappy, emotional tip either. Like, just for real. I went to McDonald's to get up on their breakfast this morning *I LOOOOVE McDonald's breakfast!*, and i'm making my order...and the lady was just extremely rude! Like you can tell she did not want to be at work, and was very salty for working at McDonald's as a 30+ year old woman taking drive-thru orders. Like yo...that's YOUR fault, but you shouldn't take that out on the other people that just want some damn breakfast!
Don't get me wrong...sometimes people deserve rude behavior and whatnot...and by all means, in those instances it is alright to display such behavior...however sometimes people just go out of their way to be everything but nice. and honestly, it's quite sad.
Maybe it has to do with the cliche "Nice guys finish last." I'm sorry...and excuse my french...but that's bullshit! Maybe in the short run...maybe...but life isn't a 100 meter dash! And even in the short run...is it really worth it? Life is a marathon...you don't wanna run too slow cuz you'll lose...but you don't wanna run too fast...cuz then you'll just get extra tired...and you'll still lose.
"Slow *living* is better than no *living*. Fast *living* don't last too long...you gotta pace it!" Big ups to Lil Wayne - Carter II off of...well...actually that's obvious. lol
Anyways...I say that to say this. I feel like people need to realize that being nice is actually a good thing! And I don't just mean being nice out of your own convenience, but just overall nice. It really does work wonders for other people's day, as well as your own inner being. I'm telling you...I speak from personal experience. It goes a long way!
HOLLA!!!!!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Real Talk Vol. 3: A thin line between friends and.....friends?
Ask yourself a question...
How many friends do you have? I'm not trying to make this a numbers game now *not to be confused with the NUMBERS game (see Man Rule #1).* But just think about it. Who are your friends? Why are they your friends? What do you guys do as friends?
Ok...now ask this question.
Out of your friends...how many of them do you consider TRUE friends? *Yes there is a difference in my opinion* For those of you that only thought about your true friends when I asked you how many friends you had, and are now going back to the first question to think who else you would consider a friend...that isn't necessary. Like I said...it's not a game or anything...it's just to invoke thought, so it would kinda help my point. So what makes them a true friend? What actions or circumstances has proven them to be a true friend, in your opinion?
Now I don't want yall to think I'm going to sit here and talk about how some people that you consider your true friends aren't your true friends or anything like that. I'm just ranting *for the lack of a better word* about some things i've come to realize. And I also said previously (see Birthday La Flare!...love ya CoCo :D) that I would speak on friendships and whatnot. so yea. just writing up to my word.
I must say first and foremost that I am truly blessed to have the friends I do have. Real talk. I'm usually the type of person that likes to shut my friends out when things get dark. I just want to stumble around the room and try to find the light switch myself without any help, knowing that I'd find that damned light switch eventually, running into walls and stubbing my toes all the while. I've always been that way *getting better though.* Yet...my friends always find a way to be there for me anyways, even if they don't know it. So...Thanks yall. Yall know who yall are.
So I just texted somebody happy 21st birthday not too long ago. We used to be mad close...so I think...anyways much closer than we are now. Which is partially what led me to write this blog now as opposed to later. But I was just thinking about who I considered friends and why. *I still do consider her as a friend by the way, don't get me wrong.*
But yea...have you ever just sat and reminisced how things were back in the day? Who you used to hang out with? Things like that? I say that now because I feel like...at my age...the people you consider friends now, especially true friends, you are pretty much going to keep for the rest of your life...so it's always nice to look at the past and see how things have progressed. I know for me...I've seen true friends stay true friends, true friends become friends, true friends become acquaintances, friends become true friends then back to friends for whatever reason, etc. etc. Basically i've seen it all, in regards to the people I've come across and played any sort of role in my life.
If you haven't noticed by now...my thought processes are VERY unorthodoxed, but they end up making some sort of sense in the end. So if you feel like i'm going nowhere...guess what...this blog isn't for you anyways!!! It's my blog! LOL i'm being silly. but see...yea unorthodoxed. I do want you to think about some of this though. It's healthy.
I guess I should explain some of my terminology. I am basically speaking on three friendship personalities: The acquaintance, the friend, and the true friend. The acquaintance is that person you see around...maybe in a mutual circle or something...you're cordial...speak in passing...maybe a facebook wall post here and there or something. Nothing too developed. A friend is all the above...but more developed. You have deep conversations, or conversations in general past how are you doing...hang out often...speak on a more personal level...both have an established level of trust...helps you out in certain circumstances...yea things like that. The true friend is all the above...and more. The true friend is that person that is down for you no matter what...almost like an unconditional trust for and from that person...yea you get my drift.
Also...I don't want people to get true friends mixed up with close friends. I know I didn't mention close friends...but whatever...i'm tired of defining now. lol ok no I'm not. When I mention close friends, I feel like that implies a time period. Like in a given time period...a school year for example...I mainly hang out with my school peoples. At the time...a few of them would be considered my close friends...but anyways...I say that to say this. At times in life...there will be times when you hang out with certain people more than others. It's life. For example. My boy Wesley. Still like my best friend to this day. After high school we haven't really talked or kicked it as much as we used to. We still do mind you, but not at the volume we did. And I have met more people and befriended some of them between high school and now...as he has. I have spent a lot of time with certain people I would consider close friends...but that will never take away the fact that he is still one of my TRUE friends. I know, despite the decrease in communication, if he ever called me and needed anything...I got him at the drop of a dime...and i know that feeling is reciprocated.
Another example...my homegirl CoCo...since I brought her up earlier. Unlike Wesley...we've never really been the closest of friends. But I consider her one of my true friends. I know if she called me needing anything...I got her. No questions. And if I needed anything...she'd be one of the few people I'd absolutely call.
On the flipside of that...I have friends I definitely would consider close to me...yet, at times of need...they would not be the first name to pop into my head as far as people i'd trust to call.
I guess I'm saying all of this to bring up this point. I think some people tend to get their friendship boundaries blurred. Not trying to judge who people consider friends, but I feel like people sometimes don't really understand what really goes into a friendship. It's more than just a label. It's more than just a convenient circumstance between two people. And it's mutual!!!!! That's why I asked a few of the follow up questions after asking who your true friends were or how many friends you have.
It's good to have friends. It's great to have friends actually. But I feel like everyone needs to be put in certain categories, not trying to be rude or anything, but it's a necessity. Everyone is very capable of being your friend, but very few are capable of being your true friend. Just like a man can pretty much date most females. But that male isn't going to fall in love/catch deep feelings for every girl he dates. It's unhealthy.
So, basically, it's good to know who your friends are. And it's good to know who your true friends are. Like as far as true friends go *imma just use that one as an example. Most of yall reading are quite intelligent anyways...so yea...you get my drift for the most part...and not trying to call you out if you're reading and you aren't intelligent...not that I'm calling you stupid or anything.......ok let me just stop now. lol* anyways...as far as true friends go...I think of it like this. If any of my friends called me at 3am with a problem, who would I immediately wake up to help with no hesitation, no questions asked? Vice versa: If I had a problem at 3am, who would be a person I'd call? Now...not to make anyone feel less important or anything...but let's be real. Most everybody would hear that phone ring at 3am and be like "YAWN! I'll check it in the morning." and go back to sleep. and also...I know a lot of yall would think "Psh. Yea I'm not calling THAT nigga at no 3am." and it's all good...as long as you know what place your friends belong.
Ok that's all on this topic...for now at least. lol Hope you enjoyed that read. Give feedback please. What you think? Your ideas?
HOLLA!!!!!
How many friends do you have? I'm not trying to make this a numbers game now *not to be confused with the NUMBERS game (see Man Rule #1).* But just think about it. Who are your friends? Why are they your friends? What do you guys do as friends?
Ok...now ask this question.
Out of your friends...how many of them do you consider TRUE friends? *Yes there is a difference in my opinion* For those of you that only thought about your true friends when I asked you how many friends you had, and are now going back to the first question to think who else you would consider a friend...that isn't necessary. Like I said...it's not a game or anything...it's just to invoke thought, so it would kinda help my point. So what makes them a true friend? What actions or circumstances has proven them to be a true friend, in your opinion?
Now I don't want yall to think I'm going to sit here and talk about how some people that you consider your true friends aren't your true friends or anything like that. I'm just ranting *for the lack of a better word* about some things i've come to realize. And I also said previously (see Birthday La Flare!...love ya CoCo :D) that I would speak on friendships and whatnot. so yea. just writing up to my word.
I must say first and foremost that I am truly blessed to have the friends I do have. Real talk. I'm usually the type of person that likes to shut my friends out when things get dark. I just want to stumble around the room and try to find the light switch myself without any help, knowing that I'd find that damned light switch eventually, running into walls and stubbing my toes all the while. I've always been that way *getting better though.* Yet...my friends always find a way to be there for me anyways, even if they don't know it. So...Thanks yall. Yall know who yall are.
So I just texted somebody happy 21st birthday not too long ago. We used to be mad close...so I think...anyways much closer than we are now. Which is partially what led me to write this blog now as opposed to later. But I was just thinking about who I considered friends and why. *I still do consider her as a friend by the way, don't get me wrong.*
But yea...have you ever just sat and reminisced how things were back in the day? Who you used to hang out with? Things like that? I say that now because I feel like...at my age...the people you consider friends now, especially true friends, you are pretty much going to keep for the rest of your life...so it's always nice to look at the past and see how things have progressed. I know for me...I've seen true friends stay true friends, true friends become friends, true friends become acquaintances, friends become true friends then back to friends for whatever reason, etc. etc. Basically i've seen it all, in regards to the people I've come across and played any sort of role in my life.
If you haven't noticed by now...my thought processes are VERY unorthodoxed, but they end up making some sort of sense in the end. So if you feel like i'm going nowhere...guess what...this blog isn't for you anyways!!! It's my blog! LOL i'm being silly. but see...yea unorthodoxed. I do want you to think about some of this though. It's healthy.
I guess I should explain some of my terminology. I am basically speaking on three friendship personalities: The acquaintance, the friend, and the true friend. The acquaintance is that person you see around...maybe in a mutual circle or something...you're cordial...speak in passing...maybe a facebook wall post here and there or something. Nothing too developed. A friend is all the above...but more developed. You have deep conversations, or conversations in general past how are you doing...hang out often...speak on a more personal level...both have an established level of trust...helps you out in certain circumstances...yea things like that. The true friend is all the above...and more. The true friend is that person that is down for you no matter what...almost like an unconditional trust for and from that person...yea you get my drift.
Also...I don't want people to get true friends mixed up with close friends. I know I didn't mention close friends...but whatever...i'm tired of defining now. lol ok no I'm not. When I mention close friends, I feel like that implies a time period. Like in a given time period...a school year for example...I mainly hang out with my school peoples. At the time...a few of them would be considered my close friends...but anyways...I say that to say this. At times in life...there will be times when you hang out with certain people more than others. It's life. For example. My boy Wesley. Still like my best friend to this day. After high school we haven't really talked or kicked it as much as we used to. We still do mind you, but not at the volume we did. And I have met more people and befriended some of them between high school and now...as he has. I have spent a lot of time with certain people I would consider close friends...but that will never take away the fact that he is still one of my TRUE friends. I know, despite the decrease in communication, if he ever called me and needed anything...I got him at the drop of a dime...and i know that feeling is reciprocated.
Another example...my homegirl CoCo...since I brought her up earlier. Unlike Wesley...we've never really been the closest of friends. But I consider her one of my true friends. I know if she called me needing anything...I got her. No questions. And if I needed anything...she'd be one of the few people I'd absolutely call.
On the flipside of that...I have friends I definitely would consider close to me...yet, at times of need...they would not be the first name to pop into my head as far as people i'd trust to call.
I guess I'm saying all of this to bring up this point. I think some people tend to get their friendship boundaries blurred. Not trying to judge who people consider friends, but I feel like people sometimes don't really understand what really goes into a friendship. It's more than just a label. It's more than just a convenient circumstance between two people. And it's mutual!!!!! That's why I asked a few of the follow up questions after asking who your true friends were or how many friends you have.
It's good to have friends. It's great to have friends actually. But I feel like everyone needs to be put in certain categories, not trying to be rude or anything, but it's a necessity. Everyone is very capable of being your friend, but very few are capable of being your true friend. Just like a man can pretty much date most females. But that male isn't going to fall in love/catch deep feelings for every girl he dates. It's unhealthy.
So, basically, it's good to know who your friends are. And it's good to know who your true friends are. Like as far as true friends go *imma just use that one as an example. Most of yall reading are quite intelligent anyways...so yea...you get my drift for the most part...and not trying to call you out if you're reading and you aren't intelligent...not that I'm calling you stupid or anything.......ok let me just stop now. lol* anyways...as far as true friends go...I think of it like this. If any of my friends called me at 3am with a problem, who would I immediately wake up to help with no hesitation, no questions asked? Vice versa: If I had a problem at 3am, who would be a person I'd call? Now...not to make anyone feel less important or anything...but let's be real. Most everybody would hear that phone ring at 3am and be like "YAWN! I'll check it in the morning." and go back to sleep. and also...I know a lot of yall would think "Psh. Yea I'm not calling THAT nigga at no 3am." and it's all good...as long as you know what place your friends belong.
Ok that's all on this topic...for now at least. lol Hope you enjoyed that read. Give feedback please. What you think? Your ideas?
HOLLA!!!!!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Birthday Shoutout
Yea...so this person I never really knew personally. He touched many lives though, maybe even yours. Definitely died way too early. However, through his music *sometimes sadly*, and through the legacy of others...his life goes on. A hip-hop legend. In my opinion...the greatest of all time. This here is a birthday shoutout to Lesane Parish Crooks.
Oh. Yall don't know who that is do you? smh
Maybe a few of these songs will help you to realize who he is.
Oh. Yall don't know who that is do you? smh
Maybe a few of these songs will help you to realize who he is.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Walking In Deep Waters pt. 1
The perfect silhouette
No face, no features
An empty void
The shell of what could be
What should’ve been
What isn’t…
The light behind the figure
Illuminating the hope
The small chance
The possibility
And the maybe
Blinding me from the insecurities
The doubt
And the cold it embodies
It’s seeming darkness intriguing
The positive to my negative
Attraction inevitable
Yet it repels itself
Unattainable
Or am I standing still?
Afraid of the flaws
Rough edges
Blemishes
And imperfections I’m blinded from
In love with an outline
Complacent with the idea of perfection
But the darkness still intrigues me
So, I put my shades on
Ready to see the hope
The small chance
The possibility
And the maybe
Turn into an actuality
An assurance
A definite
As I make my way towards
The Perfect Silhouette
No face, no features
An empty void
The shell of what could be
What should’ve been
What isn’t…
The light behind the figure
Illuminating the hope
The small chance
The possibility
And the maybe
Blinding me from the insecurities
The doubt
And the cold it embodies
It’s seeming darkness intriguing
The positive to my negative
Attraction inevitable
Yet it repels itself
Unattainable
Or am I standing still?
Afraid of the flaws
Rough edges
Blemishes
And imperfections I’m blinded from
In love with an outline
Complacent with the idea of perfection
But the darkness still intrigues me
So, I put my shades on
Ready to see the hope
The small chance
The possibility
And the maybe
Turn into an actuality
An assurance
A definite
As I make my way towards
The Perfect Silhouette
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