Real Talk Vol. 9: This Is Mainly For The Females...but Everyone Should Read This

This, I feel is very important for yall to check out! My aunt Kendall wrote this...and I asked her permission to share this on my blog, which she agreed to. This really goes for everybody...as far as overall health is concerned...however...this is REALLY tailored towards females. Please read.

Before I post this...I just want yall to know that this is actually something VERY close to my heart. I can't even put it in words. I'm actually tearing up right now as I'm posting this. You'll see why as you read. If you don't take anything I've said on this blog seriously...I ask that you please take this seriously.

Ok, everyone. I usually don't blog, but after watching the aforementioned segment *Black in America pt. 2*, I feel compelled to share my experiences and urge women that I know to educate themselves more on this issue. As young women, I do not believe we fully understand the importance of our health and maintaining it as a priority. Although I am aware that Breast Cancer runs rampant in the black community, I tend to push it aside to deal with more immediate issues in my life. February, 2008, I received a phone call from my sister, Sonja, with whom I had recently become close after the birth of my daughter in 2000. I sensed something was wrong, but I was eager to hear from her. She then proceeded to tell me that she had terminal cancer, and had been in the hospital for more than two weeks, and she had just mustered the courage to call and tell me. I was shocked at the scream that came from within me; I did not know that I had the capacity for it to be so powerful.

The following day, two of my brothers and I traveled to Hanford, which is approximately 3 hours north of Los Angeles. I had to see firsthand what was going on, and to get a visual of this horrible reality. Upon walking into her hospital room, I saw what I thought was a woman who was at least 7 months pregnant, with extremely edematous lower extremities—until my sister turned toward us and spoke. We later found out that the cancer, which originated in her right breast, had rapidly spread to her bones, lungs, liver and abdomen. The doctor informed me that even with aggressive chemotherapy, which she declined, she would survive another three months, at best. My sister was in pain so intolerable, it hurt when she exhaled, and was even worse when she spoke.

Monday, February 4, 2008, after visitors had gone for the evening, I put a warm blanket over my sister, turned her television on, and moved the recliner that the hospital provided for me closer to her bed. She laughed while I cracked jokes; it was my way of trying to soften the blow of what was told to us earlier in the day, and to ease her into accepting the inevitable in such a short time. She wrote on a piece of paper that she was scared, that the outcome was unfair, and she needed to be here for her children. I assured her that if she were to pass, I would become responsible for her 26 year-old developmentally disabled daughter and her then 17 year-old son. She turned and smiled at me, and I told her never realized how much she looked like our mother until now. She politely flipped me “the bird” and settled back in her bed, attempting to get some sleep for the night. I grabbed my sister’s hand, told her I loved her, and we both went to sleep- still holding hands.

Earlier that night, Sonja kept removing her oxygen mask to talk, and I would run over to her and put it back on her face and told her to shut her mouth and to write whatever she needed to tell me. I was awakened by the rush of nurses into the room, who informed me that her heart rate was dropping rapidly, and they needed to perform CPR. Before I was escorted out of the room, I touched her hand and it was ice cold. Any glimmer of hope I had of them saving her was now gone. I sat in the waiting room down the hall. Fifteen minutes later, at 1:01am, the nurse entered the waiting room and told me she was sorry, and their attempts to resuscitate her had failed. I visited my sister shortly thereafter, and was surprised at the courage I had to enter the room, knowing that the person that I adored all of my life, had given up fighting her battle with cancer, at the age of 48.

My niece told me several days later that Sonja had noticed a lump in her breast several months before, and had gone to get a biopsy, but never returned to the physician for the results.

I apologize if this note is lengthy, but I cannot begin to express the importance of us as women to have regularly scheduled mammograms. The earlier cancer is caught, the better the odds of survival. I encourage everyone, male and female, to urge your mothers, wives, sisters, aunts…..WHOMEVER….to schedule an appointment. The pain and inconvenience one may experience during a mammogram/biospy is incomparable to the pain of cancer ravaging your body.

Needless to say, I’m quitting smoking. It is gonna be a hard road, but I want to be here for me….. and everyone else.

FML

Today, I finally got Wii Fit to lose some weight. Came home and set it all up only to be told that I weigh too much to use the board. FML

FML

Today, I found out why my girlfriend of 8 months has never agreed to stay the night before. Now I have a 4-month old mattress that needs replacing, and a 23-year-old bedwetter for a girlfriend. FML

Double U...Tee...Eff...

Lauren London is pregnant...


by Lil Wayne...










I'm so sad...


Why?...




Big ups to Weezy...


but why?


..............


Every Girl (Explicit)


guess he wasn't lying...

*on to the next celebrity crush*

Talent Tuesdays: No Need For a Subtitle

Double U...Tee...Eff...

I really cannot believe he did this. What's more, I can't believe the courtroom allowed him to do this! Just...wtf?

Just Rambling

I just had to say...I'm feelin legit confused. No BS.

If you know me...you know I love music...no...I LOOOOVE music! I live through music. I do everything through/with music. Yes, I mainly listen to hip-hop...but it's far from the only thing...I just...love...music. Everything about it. I always have.

A huge reasoning for my love of music is due to Michael Jackson. Real talk. like...REAL TALK! I remember being at my grandma's house...and she had this black Michael Jackson shirt I ALWAYS wore when I slept over there. And I would be in that shirt, trying to sing his songs and trying to do the moonwalk and the crazy spinning.

It's really sad how people are most remembered AFTER they died. I mean...just as a very small example...Dolla. Not to make him seem unimportant *R.I.P.* but rarely anybody knew him before he died. *By raise of hands...how many even know who I'm talking about?...don't worry...I won't judge you.*

Anyways...yo...I was watching all the tribute shows/music videos/news reports on Michael Jackson today...and it just gets me more and more sad as time goes by. Like...I grew up on this guy...still can sing a good majority of his songs by heart. It's crazy yo. Just thinking about how far music came thanks to him alone.

I think what really started hitting me was looking at how other people were reacting to his death. Like...I was fine at first. But finally getting a chance to see other people's reaction...it really is saddening.

From a musical standpoint...I mean...we just lost the biggest musical icon of all time...the definition of such a term. Like...wow. Even just watching his videos...everything just seems surreal.

I've been listening to his music all day. On repeat. It's just crazy man. I mean...I listened to it when he was alive...but does anybody else feel like everything he said has a much more deeper meaning now that he's gone? How come that's ALWAYS the case? With everything? Vincent Van Gogh...painter. Nobody appreciated his work till AFTER he died. Every great rapper...yes they were considered great rappers...but it's not until AFTER they die that they become untouchable legends. It's just crazy man.

I think what's most hitting me is how much his work went underappreciated. Don't get me wrong...I have always loved his music. But, it's not until he passed that I really was like...WOW...this is just ridiculous. Maybe I just feel like I underappreciated his music now that he's gone...which makes this all time-relative.

As yall may be able to see...I'm really just rambling right now. Trying to make sense of things if you will. Like...wow.

The older I get...the more I appreciate the value of life. I never really felt the pain of a death until my aunt died back in February 2008. I mean, I've known family members that have died, and other friends and acquaintances that have died from my school and whatnot...but I feel like I was young then, cuz it just really takes on another meaning most recently. I've never cried over a death. I've never really felt a heart-wrenching pain caused by a death or anything, the closest being my aunt. But the more I've gotten older...the more life just seems shorter and shorter...and more precious.

Add that with my love of music and music losing something truly great...I guess you can see where I'm going with that.

Or maybe not. Cuz I don't think I do.

yea...

I'm not depressed or anything either...it's just...mad crazy yo!

I just heard something that made me feel better.

Yall know my best friend Wesley. If not...I have a best friend named Wesley. Actually...see Friends.

Anyways...his parents are at my crib now...actin a fool! lol...anyways...they're talking about the Michael Jackson incident now...and they got on talking about him and James Brown and how we lost the both of them. This is what made me feel better. Just so you know...Mom is my mom...and Momma is Wesley's mom *yes I call her Momma*

Mom: "Michael Jackson is gone. James Brown is gone."
Momma: "And we're still here!"

Such a great way to look at it. They live on through us. :)

I really don't know what else to say right now. I really was just rambling. Besides...I have a VERY important enrty to post right now.

I Remember The Time...

Yea...so this is the first time I could get to my blog since my silly posts yesterday. First of all...I'll seriously continue my Throwback Thursday series next week. Second...there is obviously something more important to blog about.

Yes I know everyone is already on it...but yo...it could never be said enough.

Yesterday we lost probably the biggest music icon of our time. People like Chris Brown, Ne-Yo, and the like would not have the career they have without this man.

Yo...I used to try to dance like him ALL THE TIME!!! I'm still trying to perfect the moonwalk. I used to watch Michael Jackson Moonwalker on repeat all day! *don't front like none of yall watched that movie all day!* I'm more than sure EVERYBODY has at least FIVE of his songs committed to memory, and even that would be a shame.

He's truly the definition of 'Timeless.'

I'm trying not to make this sound like one of those cliche articles I'm sure you've already read...but I mean...what else can you say.

One sad thing about all of this...I feel like in the short term...like definitely over the next few months...his musical talent is going to be overshadowed by his lifestyle. All his scandals, his nose, and plenty of other things I'm sure is going to surface now that he's gone. Yes it's true...he definitely had a troubled life. He wasn't the greatest person ever. Nobody is really. He did his dirt, made his mistakes. True. But I really feel like all of that conversation should cease to exist. Let the man and his family rest in peace. We should just just bask in his music and legacy as we remember him as the GREATEST to ever do it! Period!

I hope my homegirl Marissa Mitchell is reading this. I know how much she loves him and his music. *notice I said loveS instead of loveD! He's gone physically, but he'll live through his music longer than we will...real talk* I partially wrote this for you girl! While we may not show it *I personally have a problem with showing emotion, I'm working on it though*, we are all cut deep by this unexpected loss. You Are Not Alone!

I know this is personally going to take a good minute before this actually hits me. That sentence alone should just underline the sheer impact of his death. As I realize it and it truly does cut deep, for some reason I just feel like it hasn't exactly HIT me...yall understand? Like I expect to see a news story in the next few hours saying how he miraculously woke up and moonwalked out of the hospital screaming...WHO'S BAD?!!!!!!!!

With that said...here's to the King of Pop. May your music rest in everyone's souls forever. *I know it will in mine!* Damn...

Michael Joseph Jackson
(August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009)

This is where I was going to post my favorite music video of all time from Michael...but my boy LoLights (see LoLights and check out his blog...it's sick) already posted it! So instead...I'm going to post my favorite song of all time by the man! Real talk...everyone listen to this song.

FML

So yea...another new blog series. Pretty self-explanatory. Usually they're gonna just come from the FML site...whatever I think is worthy of being put on my blog, I will copy and paste it here. If something happens in my life that's worth a FML...i'll put that here also. So yea. Here's the first one.

Today, was my birthday. After hinting for almost 2 months for a Wii, my dad pulls out a shiny new Wii Package. The only problem? The box didn't have a Wii in it. My dad gave me a Wii box with my VCR inside and a note saying "This is life. Once you think you're happy, someone crushes it". FML