Anyone ever felt like they trap themselves in situations they really can't separate themselves from? Actually, better question. Anyone ever find it hard to seek solace in themselves after giving so much of yourself to other people and their situations, socially and emotionally, that it seems as if there is no chance of receiving your own space?
One thing about me and my ideas of friendship...I give my all. I don't hold back. I will go out my way to be a friend to somebody I consider a friend.
Another thing about that though, I feel like sometimes by me going out my way, I forget how to get back to myself, and I don't want other people helping me to navigate my way back. I think it's the thought of other people following me back to my own personal safe zone that I attempt to keep quarantined from the rest of the world that keeps me from doing so.
I feel like I spend so much of my time in other people's worlds, making sure everything with them is great and less chaotic, thinking that it will have a direct effect on my world, making it more peaceful and settled. Funny thing is, for a certain amount of time, it actually does feel that way...like nothing is wrong.
I've come to a few realizations though. At least I feel like I have.
1. Peace and tranquility in anybody never lasts forever. - As much as I love helping people through situations, once I feel like I've helped through a situation, I admittedly feel like things will be good for a while. Often times, it's not the case, and I usually find myself going back and helping out again. I think it's just the feeling of knowing what it's like when other people feel at peace and me not wanting them to experience otherwise for any longer than they have to that motivates me to keep doing it. If I have energy to give to someone, which I always pretty much keep reserved, I'll give it. And I won't think twice about it. I'll find the extra energy if I need to, not leaving any for myself knowing I'll get the energy back. All the while I'm more than sure that they'll end up happy without those issues ever arising again. Psyche.
2. Solving other people's issues do not automatically solve my own. - When other people are happy and peaceful, I'm happy and peaceful.......for a limited time. After a while, I realize that I will eventually have to return to my own problems and issues, those of which I let nobody truly see, solve, or empathize with. Often times...okay I'm being honest. I don't like to have to solve my own issues. I DEFINITELY don't like people helping me to solve my issues. I just have a feeling that my issues will just kindly go away as time passes. Instead, I love being able to help people with their own tribulations. I am very capable of empathizing with other people and giving unbiased advice. I also tend to give my views on the issue just for other people to see what another person may think as opposed to telling them what would be best for them. I basically allow people to think for themselves, which I think is best. When I see people happy, I feel happy just based off the fact that they are feeling better than they had been. That little sense of happiness tends to make me forget about all the things that had been bothering me. With that, I tend to hope solving other people's issues will, in some way or another, provide a solution to my own problems. It never does.
3. Hiding the issues in the closet do not solve the problems. - Y'all know how your parents would tell you to clean your room back when you were a kid *or if you're a kid now, or if your parents still tell you to clean your room*, and instead, you would just throw everything in the closet, making the room seem apparently clean? For that time being, the room is clean, until you open your closet door and everything comes tumbling out, realizing you have to go through everything eventually but remain satisfied in re-stuffing your closet, saying "I'll get to it later" while stuffing whatever mess has accumulated in with initial mess. I feel like I handle my issues the same way. At first, it's not too much of a bother to where I feel like I absolutely have to handle them right away, so I don't. In my mind, I'll be okay. Then something else ends up happening. I feel like I can handle it, but I don't want to at the moment. In the closet it goes. I find other stuff to do and help other people clean up their issues, all the while forgetting about the mess I have in my closet. After being tired from whatever activities I was doing, I go in my closet, and I view the mess. Overwhelmed, I leave it alone, saying "I'll get to it later." And the cycle continues until, eventually, I can no longer fit anything into the closet, and it becomes this enormous task that seems impossible to finish. Yet and still, I don't want help cleaning it up because I don't want people to see what I've been stuffing in my closet and neglecting to handle. Temporary happiness is just that. Temporary. As opposed to handling the issue when it's very minor compared to how it can progress and become something major, I become complacent with the idea of temporary blocks of happiness, thinking in this mind state that eventually it'll be permanent without much confrontation with my own demons. Doesn't work.
4. You can't give to others what you can't give to yourself. - I always tell people that "Sometimes, you aren't being selfish by being selfish." Doing what's best for you without regard to other people is the best thing you can do for other people. Of course I'm the hard-headed person that doesn't listen to the things I say. As I said earlier, I'll give everything I have, and more, towards my friendships with other people, with the thought in mind that I'll somehow have something for myself. Question, how can you have something for anything if you give it all to something else? You can't.
In essence, I realize that I do everything that I don't want, or really allow, other people to do. Honestly, I haven't exactly figured that all out yet, but it is a realization nonetheless. Also, with all that, I'm so wrapped up in what I do for others that I fail to acknowledge what needs to be done for myself. Sometimes, it's almost like I forget how to, and in my quest to re-figure that out, I almost gather a following of people that want to return the favor I kinda don't want. So I never complete that quest. I'd just rather dwell in others' issues with the mission of making them better, in hopes that one day, everything will be good and I can...in a sense...sneak away and take refuge in my own messy closet.
But like I said, people will always have issues. Including myself.
Where do I balance?
How do I balance?
Why can't I involve others?
Why do I involve myself SO much when I know I don't allow reciprocity?
Am I being fair? Not only to myself, but to others?
So many questions. So many answers.
I bet the answers are buried somewhere in my messy closet.
Showing posts with label Understanding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Understanding. Show all posts
Friday, May 21, 2010
Friday, December 18, 2009
Real Talk Vol. 10: Please Don't Stop The Music
As an avid fan of hip-hop music, I listen to pretty much EV-ERY-THANG. *Ev-ery-thang???* EV-ERY-THANG!! I listen to pretty much EV-ERY-THANG!!! (I know yall know what I'm talkin about and want to laugh. You can let out a snicker. Giggle Giggle MF!) Personally, I am a huge fan of lyrics in rap songs. I love being mentally stimulated/hearing witty yet informational punchlines/listening to people actually saying something as opposed to rappers throwing words together because their ending syllables happen to sound the same. Because of this, I usually listen to music that has that type of content (i.e. Wale, Lupe Fiasco, Eminem, Slaughterhouse, J. Cole, etc.).
Most recently, I've learned to fully appreciate all music under the umbrella of hip-hop as opposed to comparing what I didn't completely approve of with what I considered actual "hip-hop music." That includes the likes of Gucci Mane, Soulja Boy, even the silly rhymes of the hype man aka Waka Flocka Flame! Some people may have a lot to say about what I just said, but check me right quick and let me explain.
People like to express their own versions of art in the way they feel best fits them. To some, it may be through vivid and colorful lyrics that paints a moving animation in your head. To others, it may be through telling a story of their own life sans figurative language for others to relate to. And to others, it may be through simple lyrics with crazy bass to make people feel good. Whatever the case may be, each person is expressing themselves in the way they see fit. Think of a little kid who, in their opinion, is drawing a dog, but to you it looks like a tree. Are you going to tell that little kid that his rendition of that art is wrong? What would you say if someone else just so happened to agree with the kid wholeheartedly? Such is the relation to hip-hop music. People are so quick to put their own labels on what hip-hop is and on what it isn't that the entire culture as a whole fails to get embraced. No genre of music is as diverse or as representative of individual expression as hip-hop...yet at the same token...it is also the most divided and unwelcoming of dynamic changes. Just because Travis Porter doesn't rap about the same type of music as Charles Hamilton doesn't make either of them any less a part of the hip-hop culture.
That brings me to my next point. All music isn't made for the same type of environment. Nas doesn't make club music. Gospel artists don't make music to get high to. Ice Cube isn't trying to come up with a new dance for the children to pick up on and do to EVERY song that comes out after. Cam'ron isn't trying to come out with a song without making up a new word that didn't previously exist! (lol just playin about the last one.) My point is...certain music is made to be played in certain environments. Unfortunately, the media and the music industry has so much say in what is played nowadays that is seems very skewed, however the distinctions do still exist. People make club records specifically to be played on the radio and in the clubs. Other people make music to inform society. Some make music for self-edification for others to relate to and hopefully grow from. You will never hear Wale's "Shades" joint played in a club, because it isn't meant to be a club joint, yet you might hear his "Pretty Girls ft. Gucci Mane" track. You possibly might hear Slaughterhouses "The One" track in a club, but you won't hear their "Raindrops ft. Novel" joint. People make music to fit different moods. With that, how is it possible to knock a certain type of music as "non hip-hop" just because it doesn't fit your idea of the genre, when the genre was founded on, not only the premise that we as black americans should have an avenue in which we could address the problems we were facing in society through a musical standpoint, but also the idea we could freely express ourselves. The boundary is pushed all the time: From establishing hip-hop in the first place, to Run DMC incorporating Rock, to NWA introducing Gangsta Rap, to Tupac and Biggie portraying their coastal beef, now to people trying to incorporate "Swag."
Basically, I finally stopped trying to compare the different subcategories that dwell under the umbrella of hip-hop and just started appreciating what was given to me...and quite honestly...I love all of it. People will tell you...I rock with Gucci Mane HARD! Only because I understand what he's delivering. I feel like others should do the same...just enjoy music for music...and stop being such harsh critics on what is given to us. Cuz I mean...let's be honest...it's not like ANY of yall are actually paying for it! Just kick back and enjoy...or dance and enjoy...or praise and enjoy...whatever mood the music puts you in!
HOLLA!!!!!
Most recently, I've learned to fully appreciate all music under the umbrella of hip-hop as opposed to comparing what I didn't completely approve of with what I considered actual "hip-hop music." That includes the likes of Gucci Mane, Soulja Boy, even the silly rhymes of the hype man aka Waka Flocka Flame! Some people may have a lot to say about what I just said, but check me right quick and let me explain.
People like to express their own versions of art in the way they feel best fits them. To some, it may be through vivid and colorful lyrics that paints a moving animation in your head. To others, it may be through telling a story of their own life sans figurative language for others to relate to. And to others, it may be through simple lyrics with crazy bass to make people feel good. Whatever the case may be, each person is expressing themselves in the way they see fit. Think of a little kid who, in their opinion, is drawing a dog, but to you it looks like a tree. Are you going to tell that little kid that his rendition of that art is wrong? What would you say if someone else just so happened to agree with the kid wholeheartedly? Such is the relation to hip-hop music. People are so quick to put their own labels on what hip-hop is and on what it isn't that the entire culture as a whole fails to get embraced. No genre of music is as diverse or as representative of individual expression as hip-hop...yet at the same token...it is also the most divided and unwelcoming of dynamic changes. Just because Travis Porter doesn't rap about the same type of music as Charles Hamilton doesn't make either of them any less a part of the hip-hop culture.
That brings me to my next point. All music isn't made for the same type of environment. Nas doesn't make club music. Gospel artists don't make music to get high to. Ice Cube isn't trying to come up with a new dance for the children to pick up on and do to EVERY song that comes out after. Cam'ron isn't trying to come out with a song without making up a new word that didn't previously exist! (lol just playin about the last one.) My point is...certain music is made to be played in certain environments. Unfortunately, the media and the music industry has so much say in what is played nowadays that is seems very skewed, however the distinctions do still exist. People make club records specifically to be played on the radio and in the clubs. Other people make music to inform society. Some make music for self-edification for others to relate to and hopefully grow from. You will never hear Wale's "Shades" joint played in a club, because it isn't meant to be a club joint, yet you might hear his "Pretty Girls ft. Gucci Mane" track. You possibly might hear Slaughterhouses "The One" track in a club, but you won't hear their "Raindrops ft. Novel" joint. People make music to fit different moods. With that, how is it possible to knock a certain type of music as "non hip-hop" just because it doesn't fit your idea of the genre, when the genre was founded on, not only the premise that we as black americans should have an avenue in which we could address the problems we were facing in society through a musical standpoint, but also the idea we could freely express ourselves. The boundary is pushed all the time: From establishing hip-hop in the first place, to Run DMC incorporating Rock, to NWA introducing Gangsta Rap, to Tupac and Biggie portraying their coastal beef, now to people trying to incorporate "Swag."
Basically, I finally stopped trying to compare the different subcategories that dwell under the umbrella of hip-hop and just started appreciating what was given to me...and quite honestly...I love all of it. People will tell you...I rock with Gucci Mane HARD! Only because I understand what he's delivering. I feel like others should do the same...just enjoy music for music...and stop being such harsh critics on what is given to us. Cuz I mean...let's be honest...it's not like ANY of yall are actually paying for it! Just kick back and enjoy...or dance and enjoy...or praise and enjoy...whatever mood the music puts you in!
HOLLA!!!!!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
The Sky Is NOT The Limit!
I've been highly intrigued by this for the past couple hours, and I've been tweeting it like crazy! (yea...check my twitter updates on the right side of the blog and follow if you aren't already. It's ok...I don't bite. lol) Anyways...I'm taking an astronomy class at State, and after doing a portion of the reading tonight...i'm just extremely curious now.
Mainly, I'm curious about the universe. How big is it? Will it stop growing? Will light ever hit a "wall"? What will happen when it does? Is there another universe beyond this one? Does the universe stretch into eternity? Just so many questions.
I was watching this video about how far things are in our universe, and I happened to find it pretty cool, and wanted to share. So look. It's mad intriguing. Well, okay I'll say this first. I'm having one of my nerd moments right now. I'm a closet nerd when something intrigues me enough to be so, this being one of these moments. So if you aren't a person with a general thirst for knowledge, a person interested in space, or just a person who likes the stuff I post (lol) you probably won't wanna watch it. However, it is still interesting! Check it.
Mainly, I'm curious about the universe. How big is it? Will it stop growing? Will light ever hit a "wall"? What will happen when it does? Is there another universe beyond this one? Does the universe stretch into eternity? Just so many questions.
I was watching this video about how far things are in our universe, and I happened to find it pretty cool, and wanted to share. So look. It's mad intriguing. Well, okay I'll say this first. I'm having one of my nerd moments right now. I'm a closet nerd when something intrigues me enough to be so, this being one of these moments. So if you aren't a person with a general thirst for knowledge, a person interested in space, or just a person who likes the stuff I post (lol) you probably won't wanna watch it. However, it is still interesting! Check it.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
I can't think of a witty title. lol
Even if yall don't know about this certain situation between two rappers right now, he explains everything pretty well. I, in my spare time, have been a bit up to date for the most part...so hearing this take on the situation is actually quite refreshing. I'm really just posting this for myself. lol...but you should check it out as well, especially for my erudites that love to intellectualize situations for the sake of boasting your intelligence while maintaining an equal level of sarcasm to make others, especially those involved in said situations, seem imbecilic.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Checkin' In
Quick update. I am trying to get my stuff together so I can post regularly...but honestly, besides being busy...i kinda like it this way. A lot of my actions are emotionally-driven, so to speak. Meaning, I only do things when I really feel like it. Don't get me wrong, I feel like hitting this up and keeping up with it regularly. It's a great release and way to keep in touch with everyone. But I got other stuff to worry about first, so I really feel like handling that first. Also on that point, I have a LOT of stuff semi-prepared to put up here. But I'm also not in that serious of a mood. In the past, I wrote a lot of that serious stuff because I was, for some reason, in a very serious, real-life mood, so it was easy to get those done. Now, I'm more on the just giddy and happy side of life. So my next few posts will be of the hilarious type. I can't stay serious forever...yall know that! lol...but when I do finish those posts *I got Real Talk Vols., Man Rules, and a poem in the works*, trust they gonna be rich. but i'm not in that type mood right now, so I would be doing those entries a disservice. so until then...imma be silly. It's the end of the summer. Let's end it with a kick and a giggle. :)
-- J.B. Charisma
-- J.B. Charisma
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Real Talk Vol. 9: This Is Mainly For The Females...but Everyone Should Read This
This, I feel is very important for yall to check out! My aunt Kendall wrote this...and I asked her permission to share this on my blog, which she agreed to. This really goes for everybody...as far as overall health is concerned...however...this is REALLY tailored towards females. Please read.
Before I post this...I just want yall to know that this is actually something VERY close to my heart. I can't even put it in words. I'm actually tearing up right now as I'm posting this. You'll see why as you read. If you don't take anything I've said on this blog seriously...I ask that you please take this seriously.
Ok, everyone. I usually don't blog, but after watching the aforementioned segment *Black in America pt. 2*, I feel compelled to share my experiences and urge women that I know to educate themselves more on this issue. As young women, I do not believe we fully understand the importance of our health and maintaining it as a priority. Although I am aware that Breast Cancer runs rampant in the black community, I tend to push it aside to deal with more immediate issues in my life. February, 2008, I received a phone call from my sister, Sonja, with whom I had recently become close after the birth of my daughter in 2000. I sensed something was wrong, but I was eager to hear from her. She then proceeded to tell me that she had terminal cancer, and had been in the hospital for more than two weeks, and she had just mustered the courage to call and tell me. I was shocked at the scream that came from within me; I did not know that I had the capacity for it to be so powerful.
The following day, two of my brothers and I traveled to Hanford, which is approximately 3 hours north of Los Angeles. I had to see firsthand what was going on, and to get a visual of this horrible reality. Upon walking into her hospital room, I saw what I thought was a woman who was at least 7 months pregnant, with extremely edematous lower extremities—until my sister turned toward us and spoke. We later found out that the cancer, which originated in her right breast, had rapidly spread to her bones, lungs, liver and abdomen. The doctor informed me that even with aggressive chemotherapy, which she declined, she would survive another three months, at best. My sister was in pain so intolerable, it hurt when she exhaled, and was even worse when she spoke.
Monday, February 4, 2008, after visitors had gone for the evening, I put a warm blanket over my sister, turned her television on, and moved the recliner that the hospital provided for me closer to her bed. She laughed while I cracked jokes; it was my way of trying to soften the blow of what was told to us earlier in the day, and to ease her into accepting the inevitable in such a short time. She wrote on a piece of paper that she was scared, that the outcome was unfair, and she needed to be here for her children. I assured her that if she were to pass, I would become responsible for her 26 year-old developmentally disabled daughter and her then 17 year-old son. She turned and smiled at me, and I told her never realized how much she looked like our mother until now. She politely flipped me “the bird” and settled back in her bed, attempting to get some sleep for the night. I grabbed my sister’s hand, told her I loved her, and we both went to sleep- still holding hands.
Earlier that night, Sonja kept removing her oxygen mask to talk, and I would run over to her and put it back on her face and told her to shut her mouth and to write whatever she needed to tell me. I was awakened by the rush of nurses into the room, who informed me that her heart rate was dropping rapidly, and they needed to perform CPR. Before I was escorted out of the room, I touched her hand and it was ice cold. Any glimmer of hope I had of them saving her was now gone. I sat in the waiting room down the hall. Fifteen minutes later, at 1:01am, the nurse entered the waiting room and told me she was sorry, and their attempts to resuscitate her had failed. I visited my sister shortly thereafter, and was surprised at the courage I had to enter the room, knowing that the person that I adored all of my life, had given up fighting her battle with cancer, at the age of 48.
My niece told me several days later that Sonja had noticed a lump in her breast several months before, and had gone to get a biopsy, but never returned to the physician for the results.
I apologize if this note is lengthy, but I cannot begin to express the importance of us as women to have regularly scheduled mammograms. The earlier cancer is caught, the better the odds of survival. I encourage everyone, male and female, to urge your mothers, wives, sisters, aunts…..WHOMEVER….to schedule an appointment. The pain and inconvenience one may experience during a mammogram/biospy is incomparable to the pain of cancer ravaging your body.
Needless to say, I’m quitting smoking. It is gonna be a hard road, but I want to be here for me….. and everyone else.
Before I post this...I just want yall to know that this is actually something VERY close to my heart. I can't even put it in words. I'm actually tearing up right now as I'm posting this. You'll see why as you read. If you don't take anything I've said on this blog seriously...I ask that you please take this seriously.
Ok, everyone. I usually don't blog, but after watching the aforementioned segment *Black in America pt. 2*, I feel compelled to share my experiences and urge women that I know to educate themselves more on this issue. As young women, I do not believe we fully understand the importance of our health and maintaining it as a priority. Although I am aware that Breast Cancer runs rampant in the black community, I tend to push it aside to deal with more immediate issues in my life. February, 2008, I received a phone call from my sister, Sonja, with whom I had recently become close after the birth of my daughter in 2000. I sensed something was wrong, but I was eager to hear from her. She then proceeded to tell me that she had terminal cancer, and had been in the hospital for more than two weeks, and she had just mustered the courage to call and tell me. I was shocked at the scream that came from within me; I did not know that I had the capacity for it to be so powerful.
The following day, two of my brothers and I traveled to Hanford, which is approximately 3 hours north of Los Angeles. I had to see firsthand what was going on, and to get a visual of this horrible reality. Upon walking into her hospital room, I saw what I thought was a woman who was at least 7 months pregnant, with extremely edematous lower extremities—until my sister turned toward us and spoke. We later found out that the cancer, which originated in her right breast, had rapidly spread to her bones, lungs, liver and abdomen. The doctor informed me that even with aggressive chemotherapy, which she declined, she would survive another three months, at best. My sister was in pain so intolerable, it hurt when she exhaled, and was even worse when she spoke.
Monday, February 4, 2008, after visitors had gone for the evening, I put a warm blanket over my sister, turned her television on, and moved the recliner that the hospital provided for me closer to her bed. She laughed while I cracked jokes; it was my way of trying to soften the blow of what was told to us earlier in the day, and to ease her into accepting the inevitable in such a short time. She wrote on a piece of paper that she was scared, that the outcome was unfair, and she needed to be here for her children. I assured her that if she were to pass, I would become responsible for her 26 year-old developmentally disabled daughter and her then 17 year-old son. She turned and smiled at me, and I told her never realized how much she looked like our mother until now. She politely flipped me “the bird” and settled back in her bed, attempting to get some sleep for the night. I grabbed my sister’s hand, told her I loved her, and we both went to sleep- still holding hands.
Earlier that night, Sonja kept removing her oxygen mask to talk, and I would run over to her and put it back on her face and told her to shut her mouth and to write whatever she needed to tell me. I was awakened by the rush of nurses into the room, who informed me that her heart rate was dropping rapidly, and they needed to perform CPR. Before I was escorted out of the room, I touched her hand and it was ice cold. Any glimmer of hope I had of them saving her was now gone. I sat in the waiting room down the hall. Fifteen minutes later, at 1:01am, the nurse entered the waiting room and told me she was sorry, and their attempts to resuscitate her had failed. I visited my sister shortly thereafter, and was surprised at the courage I had to enter the room, knowing that the person that I adored all of my life, had given up fighting her battle with cancer, at the age of 48.
My niece told me several days later that Sonja had noticed a lump in her breast several months before, and had gone to get a biopsy, but never returned to the physician for the results.
I apologize if this note is lengthy, but I cannot begin to express the importance of us as women to have regularly scheduled mammograms. The earlier cancer is caught, the better the odds of survival. I encourage everyone, male and female, to urge your mothers, wives, sisters, aunts…..WHOMEVER….to schedule an appointment. The pain and inconvenience one may experience during a mammogram/biospy is incomparable to the pain of cancer ravaging your body.
Needless to say, I’m quitting smoking. It is gonna be a hard road, but I want to be here for me….. and everyone else.
Just wanted to weigh my opinion
I may get a little backlash for this...but oh well. This whole "voicing my opinion" thing I've started to do on a more normal basis recently has gotten me into a LOT of trouble before...I'll be aiite. lol
but before anyone wants to comment or completely dismiss everything I'm saying, I ask that you read this all the way through and truly think deep about this...ok?....ok.
Chris Brown.
*I already hear all of the "Ahh HELL naw!!!"s*
But when is everyone gonna let this go? Yea he screwed up, royally I might add. But how long are we gonna dwell on this?
First of all, I see people commenting about how they won't forget what Chris Brown did like they personally got beat by him. He didn't do anything to yall. He doesn't even know yall. So why act so hurt by it? That was probably ok back in February when it happened, but it's July now going on August. Be real.
Secondly...why are people so caught up on what Rihanna is doing? Yea, she been chillin' with Chris it seems. Why? That's beyond me. However, if that's her decision, then yo...leave that be. Obviously she's gotten to a point where she's gotten past it and wants to move on with her life how she sees fit...so let her do so. It seems like she's forgiven him, if not completely then at least to a certain extent. So why can't we? And nobody should sit there and say, "I could never forgive something like that!" BS! The only thing that's unforgivable is speaking blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. *but I'm not gonna go there* Any other crime, sin, wrongdoing is very capable of being forgiven of. So if Rihanna can forgive, as it seems she's done in some capacity, what's stopping you? There's really no excuse.
Chris Brown made a very huge mistake. There's no denying that. And he's paying his price for it. So why can't we all just let him learn from his mistake and grow from it? Like any of us haven't made any mistakes we needed forgiveness from. Keep in mind...I'm not talking about the magnitude of his wrongdoing, however just the act of a wrongdoing in general. Think about it like this...if Chris was your older or younger brother, and he did that...would you not want everybody to forgive him and give him a second chance? Imagine your own brother doing something like that to someone...you would probably be sickened by his actions, but you'd forgive him. And you'd hope others could too and chalk it up to a mistake made. That's all this really is at the end of the day.
And it would be one thing if he did what he did and left it as it was. He's not doing that though. Yea he has his mandatory volunteer work or whatever. But he's been talking to his pastor and seeking counseling to help him with what happened. He's trying to improve from it, and you can't knock the man for that. Allow the man to improve. Now if he comes out of all of this better, and seriously never makes that same mistake...then it's all worth it. But everyone has to allow time for that to occur. Now if he was to relapse and do that again...then yea shun him from society...make him Run It Run It with OG Triple OG...all of that.
Back to Rihanna going back and kickin' it with homie...ask yourselves this question...and keep in mind I'm not talking about the magnitude in which Chris Brown did his wrongdoing, but just somebody doing you wrong in general. How many times has somebody done you wrong, in one way or another, and yet and still you find time to hang out with him/her? Why did you find it appropriate to do so? Maybe cuz you forgave him...chalked it up to a mistake. Maybe just for comfortability's sake. Whatever the case may be...I'm pretty sure most everyone reading this has done so. Hell, I'm doing it now. Yea I've been done wrong in the past *that's another blog entry if I ever REALLY feel like opening up lol, probably won't though since it's in the past, I know some of yall understand though* but I can look past certain things and keep it moving. Now I'm not saying forget...of course not. But it seems some people are blending forgetting with forgiving...which isn't cool. Everyone deserves to be forgiven...in the case of Rihanna and Chris...he deserves to be forgiven. Now if Rihanna chooses to never be around him again...then hey...that's her decision. But it's also her decision if she does like being around him. Just because he made that one mistake doesn't mean he's now a horrible person...just a guy that made a mistake.
I hope that when I say forgive the man, that people think I'm suggesting things be the way they were before. That's a huge hell no. He definitely has to work his way back into the arms of the people, work for his previous status and all that. But we can't deny him that chance. You know what the funny thing about this is? If this were to happen to somebody like Gucci Mane or somebody like that, people would pretty much write it off. And it's true...check out GUCCI!. yea people would argue the circumstances were different or not as big or WHATEVER, but the fact is he did the same thing Chris did, which was assault a female, which is NEVER ok...but it's still forgivable.
In closing...you don't have to like the man...you don't have to listen to his music anymore...buy doublemint gum...whatever! But at least forgive the man and let him do him and pretend he never existed instead of always wanting to put your two cents in on the situation, knowing it's always going to be a negative comment. He doesn't need that, and neither do you. He's trying to progress...and if you wanna give negative comments all the time...how much better of a person does that make you? And yea, Rihanna might be chillin with Chris still. Let her! It's her life, and she obviously has an idea as to what she's doing. No need to comment about it or judge her for it. Honestly, I'm proud of her for being able to forgive and still being able to do what she is doing without really showing the public the adverse effects I'm sure that situation had on her. It really shows her confidence, security, resilience, and overall maturity as a person, IMO at least. So more power to them both.
I think that's all I really wanted to say about that. Questions, comments, concerns? Let me know.
HOLLA!!!!!
but before anyone wants to comment or completely dismiss everything I'm saying, I ask that you read this all the way through and truly think deep about this...ok?....ok.
Chris Brown.
*I already hear all of the "Ahh HELL naw!!!"s*
But when is everyone gonna let this go? Yea he screwed up, royally I might add. But how long are we gonna dwell on this?
First of all, I see people commenting about how they won't forget what Chris Brown did like they personally got beat by him. He didn't do anything to yall. He doesn't even know yall. So why act so hurt by it? That was probably ok back in February when it happened, but it's July now going on August. Be real.
Secondly...why are people so caught up on what Rihanna is doing? Yea, she been chillin' with Chris it seems. Why? That's beyond me. However, if that's her decision, then yo...leave that be. Obviously she's gotten to a point where she's gotten past it and wants to move on with her life how she sees fit...so let her do so. It seems like she's forgiven him, if not completely then at least to a certain extent. So why can't we? And nobody should sit there and say, "I could never forgive something like that!" BS! The only thing that's unforgivable is speaking blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. *but I'm not gonna go there* Any other crime, sin, wrongdoing is very capable of being forgiven of. So if Rihanna can forgive, as it seems she's done in some capacity, what's stopping you? There's really no excuse.
Chris Brown made a very huge mistake. There's no denying that. And he's paying his price for it. So why can't we all just let him learn from his mistake and grow from it? Like any of us haven't made any mistakes we needed forgiveness from. Keep in mind...I'm not talking about the magnitude of his wrongdoing, however just the act of a wrongdoing in general. Think about it like this...if Chris was your older or younger brother, and he did that...would you not want everybody to forgive him and give him a second chance? Imagine your own brother doing something like that to someone...you would probably be sickened by his actions, but you'd forgive him. And you'd hope others could too and chalk it up to a mistake made. That's all this really is at the end of the day.
And it would be one thing if he did what he did and left it as it was. He's not doing that though. Yea he has his mandatory volunteer work or whatever. But he's been talking to his pastor and seeking counseling to help him with what happened. He's trying to improve from it, and you can't knock the man for that. Allow the man to improve. Now if he comes out of all of this better, and seriously never makes that same mistake...then it's all worth it. But everyone has to allow time for that to occur. Now if he was to relapse and do that again...then yea shun him from society...make him Run It Run It with OG Triple OG...all of that.
Back to Rihanna going back and kickin' it with homie...ask yourselves this question...and keep in mind I'm not talking about the magnitude in which Chris Brown did his wrongdoing, but just somebody doing you wrong in general. How many times has somebody done you wrong, in one way or another, and yet and still you find time to hang out with him/her? Why did you find it appropriate to do so? Maybe cuz you forgave him...chalked it up to a mistake. Maybe just for comfortability's sake. Whatever the case may be...I'm pretty sure most everyone reading this has done so. Hell, I'm doing it now. Yea I've been done wrong in the past *that's another blog entry if I ever REALLY feel like opening up lol, probably won't though since it's in the past, I know some of yall understand though* but I can look past certain things and keep it moving. Now I'm not saying forget...of course not. But it seems some people are blending forgetting with forgiving...which isn't cool. Everyone deserves to be forgiven...in the case of Rihanna and Chris...he deserves to be forgiven. Now if Rihanna chooses to never be around him again...then hey...that's her decision. But it's also her decision if she does like being around him. Just because he made that one mistake doesn't mean he's now a horrible person...just a guy that made a mistake.
I hope that when I say forgive the man, that people think I'm suggesting things be the way they were before. That's a huge hell no. He definitely has to work his way back into the arms of the people, work for his previous status and all that. But we can't deny him that chance. You know what the funny thing about this is? If this were to happen to somebody like Gucci Mane or somebody like that, people would pretty much write it off. And it's true...check out GUCCI!. yea people would argue the circumstances were different or not as big or WHATEVER, but the fact is he did the same thing Chris did, which was assault a female, which is NEVER ok...but it's still forgivable.
In closing...you don't have to like the man...you don't have to listen to his music anymore...buy doublemint gum...whatever! But at least forgive the man and let him do him and pretend he never existed instead of always wanting to put your two cents in on the situation, knowing it's always going to be a negative comment. He doesn't need that, and neither do you. He's trying to progress...and if you wanna give negative comments all the time...how much better of a person does that make you? And yea, Rihanna might be chillin with Chris still. Let her! It's her life, and she obviously has an idea as to what she's doing. No need to comment about it or judge her for it. Honestly, I'm proud of her for being able to forgive and still being able to do what she is doing without really showing the public the adverse effects I'm sure that situation had on her. It really shows her confidence, security, resilience, and overall maturity as a person, IMO at least. So more power to them both.
I think that's all I really wanted to say about that. Questions, comments, concerns? Let me know.
HOLLA!!!!!
Real Talk Vol. 8: Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder
*ok...this is not meant to offend anyone...so read the whole thing before you raise in arms...there is a point...as usual*
Yall know how you be in the club, or at some party, and the DJ would say somethin' to the likes of "If you a pretty female throw your hands in the air and scream!"...and for some reason...EVERYBODY gotta have the nerve to raise their hands up and scream? I know i'm not the only one that thinks that...or has said that either.
I said before that I would speak on what I meant by pretty in a much earlier post...so i'm now doing so.
I always understood that everyone had different preferences concerning what was attractive to them, but I don't think it really hit me until having a few conversations with my brother. Like, I'd see someone on TV or out somewhere and be like "Hey she's cute" only for him to say "Not really."
Pretty. It can't be universally defined. And i'm using the word pretty as a term to encompass all words that serve as synonyms: beauty, glamour, attractiveness, etc. But yea...everyone is going to have their own personal meaning.
Now with that, I feel like people need to learn how to accept the opposite end of that spectrum. Certain people are simply not attractive to other people. There is nothing wrong with that, but people need to learn to accept that and keep life moving. I forget where I was, but one day a month or so back I heard this group of people arguing because some guy supposedly said this girl was not that attractive. I pretty much laughed inside at how silly that argument was. I mean, it's one thing for someone to say such a thing in a disrespective connotation. But if someone is simply giving their opinion, then where's the wrong in that? I know there are people in the world people think are absolutely gorgeous that I don't. Halle Berry for instance. OK nah HORRIBLE example! LOL. People like her and Stacey Dash just go into a pot of automatically BAD!! lol...but ok...I'll just say Raven Symone for now or something. I know people will find her to be mad gorgeous...but she doesn't do it for me.
Back to the people in the club. I feel like some people don't have any business putting their hands up...but that's just my personal opinion. Not being disrespectful by any means...just being honest. But one other conclusion I've come to in thinking about this topic...what does it ULTIMATELY matter what everyone thinks? I would hope that people find themselves attractive. I mean, if you can't find yourself attractive, then why should anyone else? I know for a fact that I'm not attractive to every single female in the world. I personally think I'm handsome as hell. And I'm not saying this egotistically or anything like that, but that's how I feel...and there's nothing wrong with that. I look into the mirror everyday and see a strapping young gentleman! And that's important. If you can't accept that from yourself, you're gonna find it very hard to accept it from somebody else.
Pretty is different for everybody. I know what pretty is for me, which is all that matters in the end. So when I said wayyyyyy before I have an affinity for pretty people, and when I had described CoCo as one of those pretty females, you may disagree with my idea of pretty...and that's cool. Do you. However, in my eyes, that is how beauty is beheld. I won't go into describing what pretty is for me since that really is for my edification only...and I don't want people to try and fit themselves in certain categories that I may mention, cuz it shouldn't matter what I think. But I hope people understand that just because a certain person may not be attractive to another person or group of people, that's not to say that somebody else doesn't find them attractive. And, more importantly, people should always be attractive to themselves, IMO at least. And even MORE importantly, God loves you and will always find you attractive. (Yea that may sound cheesy or whatever, but I'm saying that with the utmost sincerity.)
Same goes for males...but me being a male interested in women, I choose to speak about women. Yall understand.
So...for my pretty people out there reading this...leave a comment and tell me what you think!!!!! ;)
HOLLA!!!!!
Yall know how you be in the club, or at some party, and the DJ would say somethin' to the likes of "If you a pretty female throw your hands in the air and scream!"...and for some reason...EVERYBODY gotta have the nerve to raise their hands up and scream? I know i'm not the only one that thinks that...or has said that either.
I said before that I would speak on what I meant by pretty in a much earlier post...so i'm now doing so.
I always understood that everyone had different preferences concerning what was attractive to them, but I don't think it really hit me until having a few conversations with my brother. Like, I'd see someone on TV or out somewhere and be like "Hey she's cute" only for him to say "Not really."
Pretty. It can't be universally defined. And i'm using the word pretty as a term to encompass all words that serve as synonyms: beauty, glamour, attractiveness, etc. But yea...everyone is going to have their own personal meaning.
Now with that, I feel like people need to learn how to accept the opposite end of that spectrum. Certain people are simply not attractive to other people. There is nothing wrong with that, but people need to learn to accept that and keep life moving. I forget where I was, but one day a month or so back I heard this group of people arguing because some guy supposedly said this girl was not that attractive. I pretty much laughed inside at how silly that argument was. I mean, it's one thing for someone to say such a thing in a disrespective connotation. But if someone is simply giving their opinion, then where's the wrong in that? I know there are people in the world people think are absolutely gorgeous that I don't. Halle Berry for instance. OK nah HORRIBLE example! LOL. People like her and Stacey Dash just go into a pot of automatically BAD!! lol...but ok...I'll just say Raven Symone for now or something. I know people will find her to be mad gorgeous...but she doesn't do it for me.
Back to the people in the club. I feel like some people don't have any business putting their hands up...but that's just my personal opinion. Not being disrespectful by any means...just being honest. But one other conclusion I've come to in thinking about this topic...what does it ULTIMATELY matter what everyone thinks? I would hope that people find themselves attractive. I mean, if you can't find yourself attractive, then why should anyone else? I know for a fact that I'm not attractive to every single female in the world. I personally think I'm handsome as hell. And I'm not saying this egotistically or anything like that, but that's how I feel...and there's nothing wrong with that. I look into the mirror everyday and see a strapping young gentleman! And that's important. If you can't accept that from yourself, you're gonna find it very hard to accept it from somebody else.
Pretty is different for everybody. I know what pretty is for me, which is all that matters in the end. So when I said wayyyyyy before I have an affinity for pretty people, and when I had described CoCo as one of those pretty females, you may disagree with my idea of pretty...and that's cool. Do you. However, in my eyes, that is how beauty is beheld. I won't go into describing what pretty is for me since that really is for my edification only...and I don't want people to try and fit themselves in certain categories that I may mention, cuz it shouldn't matter what I think. But I hope people understand that just because a certain person may not be attractive to another person or group of people, that's not to say that somebody else doesn't find them attractive. And, more importantly, people should always be attractive to themselves, IMO at least. And even MORE importantly, God loves you and will always find you attractive. (Yea that may sound cheesy or whatever, but I'm saying that with the utmost sincerity.)
Same goes for males...but me being a male interested in women, I choose to speak about women. Yall understand.
So...for my pretty people out there reading this...leave a comment and tell me what you think!!!!! ;)
HOLLA!!!!!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Real Talk Vol. 7: Just REAL TALK!!!!!
Amen!
Hallelujah!
Yes!!!!!
I know I've said this plenty of times...but I just don't think it ever seems to hit correctly coming from a guy. So bless this lovely lady for putting this out there! All, and I do mean ALL, women need to see this. Not judging...but real talk...look at this and see if anything here applies in your life. Some may have already known this...but it's a great refresher!
And...real talk...if she wasn't married...she could DEFINITELY get the happiness! I'd be ALL the man she needs. *gnr*
HOLLA!!!!!
Hallelujah!
Yes!!!!!
I know I've said this plenty of times...but I just don't think it ever seems to hit correctly coming from a guy. So bless this lovely lady for putting this out there! All, and I do mean ALL, women need to see this. Not judging...but real talk...look at this and see if anything here applies in your life. Some may have already known this...but it's a great refresher!
And...real talk...if she wasn't married...she could DEFINITELY get the happiness! I'd be ALL the man she needs. *gnr*
HOLLA!!!!!
Man Rule #2
Do not complain about a job you have if you are not in the position to be complaining.
People wanna talk about how unhappy they are at their job, or how they wanna leave whatever company they are with to work for another, or just complain for the sake of complaining. Real talk...that's not becoming of a man.
I know I used to be one of those people at some point...always dreading the hours to come when I'd have to go to work when I knew I couldn't stand the bosses/ disliked what I did. After much reflection, and trying times, for what?
Be happy you got a damn job! Especially in this economy today - *yo that is like the NUMBER TWO used phrase for anything...think about it..."I wanna go on vacation, but in this economy...", or "I wanna go to such and such school, but in this economy...", or even "Normally we'd go to Red Lobster, but...shit in THIS economy..."* - even people with Ph.D's are having troubles and are resorting to baggage handling jobs at Delta just to put food on the table. People are still getting laid off today! And you wanna complain about the job you HAVE?
If you're a true man...and any man will tell you this...but if you're a true man, especially one with a family and obligatory expenses, you are going to do whatever it is you gotta do to put food on the table and get those bills paid. Even if you aren't one of those men with extreme expenses, no man likes to be broke! Period! Yea...times are hard sometimes...but if you can find comfort and solace in being broke...I'm sorry...and not trying to judge you...but you're no man. Yea people like to cry broke here and there...and it may be true. Nothing wrong with that. But if you don't see a problem with it, or if you aren't trying to find a way to improve that situation...then you got some growing to do.
Being real...no man should EVER enjoy being broke. Cuz I assure you, no woman will put up with a man who stay broke and ain't trying to do nothing to fix it! *yea I'm speaking in my non-professional tone right now...so don't you DARE judge my grammar! lol*
Furthermore...since when were you "too good" to do any type of labor? Now...every man should strive for the best. Get that good career with a salary. Grab something with residual income...all that! However...I find it very annoying when I hear a "man" say..."Oh I'm not doing that! That's not for me! I couldn't do that. I'm not gonna get my hands dirty doing that." *Yes I've actually heard everything I've said in this entry.*
smh
Now...should you WANT to do some of those things. Of course not. You probably deserve better and should always strive to do better. However, if those are the cards you dealt...you're not gonna fold them! Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do...and that's just not an option.
I know back in the day I used to say that I'd NEVER work at a fast-food restaurant. I never wanted to. I might have even thought I was "too good" for it. But...as things have turned out now...sometimes that's just what you have to do in order to move forward. You gotta start somewhere and sometimes do things you don't want to do or never saw yourself doing. Now I'm at a fast-food restaurant, sometimes dressing as the freakin' mascot to bring in customers. Why? To tithe, to pay for school, a monthly phone bill, car repairs, other miscellaneous expenses, and to have extra money to save and spend as I please. Now, will I stay there? HELL NO!! I'm on a path of greatness that just happened to start where it started. However, on the way, I won't complain about what is. What is is what is...no use in complaining.
Just wanted to get that off my chest! What you think?
p.s. The NUMBER ONE phrase used for anything is "We in a recession." and no...not "We're in a recession," but "We in a recession!"
HOLLA!!!!!
People wanna talk about how unhappy they are at their job, or how they wanna leave whatever company they are with to work for another, or just complain for the sake of complaining. Real talk...that's not becoming of a man.
I know I used to be one of those people at some point...always dreading the hours to come when I'd have to go to work when I knew I couldn't stand the bosses/ disliked what I did. After much reflection, and trying times, for what?
Be happy you got a damn job! Especially in this economy today - *yo that is like the NUMBER TWO used phrase for anything...think about it..."I wanna go on vacation, but in this economy...", or "I wanna go to such and such school, but in this economy...", or even "Normally we'd go to Red Lobster, but...shit in THIS economy..."* - even people with Ph.D's are having troubles and are resorting to baggage handling jobs at Delta just to put food on the table. People are still getting laid off today! And you wanna complain about the job you HAVE?
If you're a true man...and any man will tell you this...but if you're a true man, especially one with a family and obligatory expenses, you are going to do whatever it is you gotta do to put food on the table and get those bills paid. Even if you aren't one of those men with extreme expenses, no man likes to be broke! Period! Yea...times are hard sometimes...but if you can find comfort and solace in being broke...I'm sorry...and not trying to judge you...but you're no man. Yea people like to cry broke here and there...and it may be true. Nothing wrong with that. But if you don't see a problem with it, or if you aren't trying to find a way to improve that situation...then you got some growing to do.
Being real...no man should EVER enjoy being broke. Cuz I assure you, no woman will put up with a man who stay broke and ain't trying to do nothing to fix it! *yea I'm speaking in my non-professional tone right now...so don't you DARE judge my grammar! lol*
Furthermore...since when were you "too good" to do any type of labor? Now...every man should strive for the best. Get that good career with a salary. Grab something with residual income...all that! However...I find it very annoying when I hear a "man" say..."Oh I'm not doing that! That's not for me! I couldn't do that. I'm not gonna get my hands dirty doing that." *Yes I've actually heard everything I've said in this entry.*
smh
Now...should you WANT to do some of those things. Of course not. You probably deserve better and should always strive to do better. However, if those are the cards you dealt...you're not gonna fold them! Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do...and that's just not an option.
I know back in the day I used to say that I'd NEVER work at a fast-food restaurant. I never wanted to. I might have even thought I was "too good" for it. But...as things have turned out now...sometimes that's just what you have to do in order to move forward. You gotta start somewhere and sometimes do things you don't want to do or never saw yourself doing. Now I'm at a fast-food restaurant, sometimes dressing as the freakin' mascot to bring in customers. Why? To tithe, to pay for school, a monthly phone bill, car repairs, other miscellaneous expenses, and to have extra money to save and spend as I please. Now, will I stay there? HELL NO!! I'm on a path of greatness that just happened to start where it started. However, on the way, I won't complain about what is. What is is what is...no use in complaining.
Just wanted to get that off my chest! What you think?
p.s. The NUMBER ONE phrase used for anything is "We in a recession." and no...not "We're in a recession," but "We in a recession!"
HOLLA!!!!!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
New Tagline
It's not what you say...but how you say it.
I don't care what nobody say...that is the perfect quote for this blog!!
Yall think about that in your normal lives.
HOLLA!!!!!
I don't care what nobody say...that is the perfect quote for this blog!!
Yall think about that in your normal lives.
HOLLA!!!!!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Real Talk Vol. 6: Letter to My Queens
Courtesy of my homegirl LoLo...I took this from her. Love ya girl!
"Dear black women of America,
It has been called to my attention that many of us have demonstrated unparalleled amounts of ignorance in a time when we should be banding together to improve our world and make better lives for our children. If you are unclear as to what ignorance and ghetto-ness I speak of, please refer to the guidelines I've given below. As a black woman of today, if you follow these guidelines, you will not only live a happier, healthier life, but you'll have done your part to help eradicate the world of negative black female stereotypes.
1. If you wear weave, please make sure it's Yaki and not past mid-shoulder length. Recent touch ups and properly straightened edges are mandatory.
2. Birth control and condoms work, so PLEASE, use them freely. Note: A negro telling you he loves you is not a written contract that guarantees he is disease free and will pay child support.
3. If you must take a phone call in a public place, please talk at a normal volume and refrain from using curse words.
4. Blue/violet contacts don't work on you, I don't care how light you think you are.
5. There are more ways to express your disapproval in a situation than rolling your head/eyes and looking like you smell something stank. Use your words, they work better.
6. Too tight clothes don't look good on anyone. Wear the size you are...not the size that you think you are. Note: if you have to lay down to zip up your pants, you might want to think about moving up to the next size.
7. If you have kids, please make sure they are clean and look put together when they leave the house.
8. Again, if you have kids, try to limit your "going out" activities to once a week.
9. Instead of spending hours teaching your child the stanky leg, try reading them a damn book.
Finally, ladies, I say to you, this last guideline is the most important of all guidelines...STOP HATING ON EACH OTHER. If you see a sista doing better than you, simply try to find out how she got that way and take a damn note!
Strive for better:
- Instead of finding a baby daddy, work on finding a husband
- Instead of finding a man with a record, find one with a career
- Instead of dealing with a guy who lives with his momma, find one that has a landlord or owns his own property
- Stop dating men whose car costs more than his monthly rent
- If he'd rather spend money on shoes/clothes/cars than saving up for a home, he might not be the best choice for you if you desire stability
- Don't date dude with kids who don't pay child support
Sincerely,
The BLATTDB (Black Ladies of America Trying To Do Better)"
*by way of J.B. Charisma*
And to the men who may feel offended by the "Strive for Better" section, and fit the negatives of that list...then Real Talk... T.I. -- Urban Legend -- Track 10.
HOLLA!!!!!
"Dear black women of America,
It has been called to my attention that many of us have demonstrated unparalleled amounts of ignorance in a time when we should be banding together to improve our world and make better lives for our children. If you are unclear as to what ignorance and ghetto-ness I speak of, please refer to the guidelines I've given below. As a black woman of today, if you follow these guidelines, you will not only live a happier, healthier life, but you'll have done your part to help eradicate the world of negative black female stereotypes.
1. If you wear weave, please make sure it's Yaki and not past mid-shoulder length. Recent touch ups and properly straightened edges are mandatory.
2. Birth control and condoms work, so PLEASE, use them freely. Note: A negro telling you he loves you is not a written contract that guarantees he is disease free and will pay child support.
3. If you must take a phone call in a public place, please talk at a normal volume and refrain from using curse words.
4. Blue/violet contacts don't work on you, I don't care how light you think you are.
5. There are more ways to express your disapproval in a situation than rolling your head/eyes and looking like you smell something stank. Use your words, they work better.
6. Too tight clothes don't look good on anyone. Wear the size you are...not the size that you think you are. Note: if you have to lay down to zip up your pants, you might want to think about moving up to the next size.
7. If you have kids, please make sure they are clean and look put together when they leave the house.
8. Again, if you have kids, try to limit your "going out" activities to once a week.
9. Instead of spending hours teaching your child the stanky leg, try reading them a damn book.
Finally, ladies, I say to you, this last guideline is the most important of all guidelines...STOP HATING ON EACH OTHER. If you see a sista doing better than you, simply try to find out how she got that way and take a damn note!
Strive for better:
- Instead of finding a baby daddy, work on finding a husband
- Instead of finding a man with a record, find one with a career
- Instead of dealing with a guy who lives with his momma, find one that has a landlord or owns his own property
- Stop dating men whose car costs more than his monthly rent
- If he'd rather spend money on shoes/clothes/cars than saving up for a home, he might not be the best choice for you if you desire stability
- Don't date dude with kids who don't pay child support
Sincerely,
The BLATTDB (Black Ladies of America Trying To Do Better)"
*by way of J.B. Charisma*
And to the men who may feel offended by the "Strive for Better" section, and fit the negatives of that list...then Real Talk... T.I. -- Urban Legend -- Track 10.
HOLLA!!!!!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Quotable
Much like my boy LoLights Quote of the Day series...I will put up different quotes that I feel pertain to my life...and possibly other people's life. Yea...here we go...installment number 1.
--A great leap forward often requires first taking two steps back...and sometimes...all it requires is the will to jump.
--A great leap forward often requires first taking two steps back...and sometimes...all it requires is the will to jump.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Real Talk Vol. FIVE: By Raise Of Hands...
Does anybody else find it funny when somebody...especially outside of your "circle"...speaks on something they THINK they are just so knowledgeable about...thinking they have "proof" and that they just COULDN'T be wrong about what they are saying...only to know in the back of your mind they sound so ignorant and silly, knowing if they knew the ACTUAL truth of what they were speaking, they'd probably end up crying, awestruck and wishing they never opened their mouth in the first place?
Does anybody else get tired of other people talking and talking, only to say nothing productive...but just feeding the plants CO2 and wasting their precious voicebox speaking negativity about other things/people?
Does anybody else wish people would stop being fairweather Friends...having your back/filling the duties of a friend when it's most convenient for them, only to leave you standing in the rain, and then adding unnecessary wind to the bad weather?
Does anybody else wonder why people can get so buck, live, and "honest" when under the influence of something other than life itself, yet cannot ever muster up the courage to say what they wanna say at 5:55pm when they're feeling nice and normal?
Does anybody else hate hearing one of your friends distressed, upset, sad, and anything else but happy, trying to find the words to say that'll make sure your friend feels better and happy...all the while clinching your fists and gritting your teeth on the other side of the phone, rapidly trying to figure out a way to best handle a situation to make sure that NEVER happens again?
Does anybody else feel like the high road is a bunch of bullshit sometimes, and just wish for a few moments you could find complete satisfaction in stooping down a couple levels and giving people what you feel they deserve?
Does anybody else feel me?
Does anybody else understand?
Tis all.
Does anybody else get tired of other people talking and talking, only to say nothing productive...but just feeding the plants CO2 and wasting their precious voicebox speaking negativity about other things/people?
Does anybody else wish people would stop being fairweather Friends...having your back/filling the duties of a friend when it's most convenient for them, only to leave you standing in the rain, and then adding unnecessary wind to the bad weather?
Does anybody else wonder why people can get so buck, live, and "honest" when under the influence of something other than life itself, yet cannot ever muster up the courage to say what they wanna say at 5:55pm when they're feeling nice and normal?
Does anybody else hate hearing one of your friends distressed, upset, sad, and anything else but happy, trying to find the words to say that'll make sure your friend feels better and happy...all the while clinching your fists and gritting your teeth on the other side of the phone, rapidly trying to figure out a way to best handle a situation to make sure that NEVER happens again?
Does anybody else feel like the high road is a bunch of bullshit sometimes, and just wish for a few moments you could find complete satisfaction in stooping down a couple levels and giving people what you feel they deserve?
Does anybody else feel me?
Does anybody else understand?
Tis all.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Just Rambling
I just had to say...I'm feelin legit confused. No BS.
If you know me...you know I love music...no...I LOOOOVE music! I live through music. I do everything through/with music. Yes, I mainly listen to hip-hop...but it's far from the only thing...I just...love...music. Everything about it. I always have.
A huge reasoning for my love of music is due to Michael Jackson. Real talk. like...REAL TALK! I remember being at my grandma's house...and she had this black Michael Jackson shirt I ALWAYS wore when I slept over there. And I would be in that shirt, trying to sing his songs and trying to do the moonwalk and the crazy spinning.
It's really sad how people are most remembered AFTER they died. I mean...just as a very small example...Dolla. Not to make him seem unimportant *R.I.P.* but rarely anybody knew him before he died. *By raise of hands...how many even know who I'm talking about?...don't worry...I won't judge you.*
Anyways...yo...I was watching all the tribute shows/music videos/news reports on Michael Jackson today...and it just gets me more and more sad as time goes by. Like...I grew up on this guy...still can sing a good majority of his songs by heart. It's crazy yo. Just thinking about how far music came thanks to him alone.
I think what really started hitting me was looking at how other people were reacting to his death. Like...I was fine at first. But finally getting a chance to see other people's reaction...it really is saddening.
From a musical standpoint...I mean...we just lost the biggest musical icon of all time...the definition of such a term. Like...wow. Even just watching his videos...everything just seems surreal.
I've been listening to his music all day. On repeat. It's just crazy man. I mean...I listened to it when he was alive...but does anybody else feel like everything he said has a much more deeper meaning now that he's gone? How come that's ALWAYS the case? With everything? Vincent Van Gogh...painter. Nobody appreciated his work till AFTER he died. Every great rapper...yes they were considered great rappers...but it's not until AFTER they die that they become untouchable legends. It's just crazy man.
I think what's most hitting me is how much his work went underappreciated. Don't get me wrong...I have always loved his music. But, it's not until he passed that I really was like...WOW...this is just ridiculous. Maybe I just feel like I underappreciated his music now that he's gone...which makes this all time-relative.
As yall may be able to see...I'm really just rambling right now. Trying to make sense of things if you will. Like...wow.
The older I get...the more I appreciate the value of life. I never really felt the pain of a death until my aunt died back in February 2008. I mean, I've known family members that have died, and other friends and acquaintances that have died from my school and whatnot...but I feel like I was young then, cuz it just really takes on another meaning most recently. I've never cried over a death. I've never really felt a heart-wrenching pain caused by a death or anything, the closest being my aunt. But the more I've gotten older...the more life just seems shorter and shorter...and more precious.
Add that with my love of music and music losing something truly great...I guess you can see where I'm going with that.
Or maybe not. Cuz I don't think I do.
yea...
I'm not depressed or anything either...it's just...mad crazy yo!
I just heard something that made me feel better.
Yall know my best friend Wesley. If not...I have a best friend named Wesley. Actually...see Friends.
Anyways...his parents are at my crib now...actin a fool! lol...anyways...they're talking about the Michael Jackson incident now...and they got on talking about him and James Brown and how we lost the both of them. This is what made me feel better. Just so you know...Mom is my mom...and Momma is Wesley's mom *yes I call her Momma*
Mom: "Michael Jackson is gone. James Brown is gone."
Momma: "And we're still here!"
Such a great way to look at it. They live on through us. :)
I really don't know what else to say right now. I really was just rambling. Besides...I have a VERY important enrty to post right now.
If you know me...you know I love music...no...I LOOOOVE music! I live through music. I do everything through/with music. Yes, I mainly listen to hip-hop...but it's far from the only thing...I just...love...music. Everything about it. I always have.
A huge reasoning for my love of music is due to Michael Jackson. Real talk. like...REAL TALK! I remember being at my grandma's house...and she had this black Michael Jackson shirt I ALWAYS wore when I slept over there. And I would be in that shirt, trying to sing his songs and trying to do the moonwalk and the crazy spinning.
It's really sad how people are most remembered AFTER they died. I mean...just as a very small example...Dolla. Not to make him seem unimportant *R.I.P.* but rarely anybody knew him before he died. *By raise of hands...how many even know who I'm talking about?...don't worry...I won't judge you.*
Anyways...yo...I was watching all the tribute shows/music videos/news reports on Michael Jackson today...and it just gets me more and more sad as time goes by. Like...I grew up on this guy...still can sing a good majority of his songs by heart. It's crazy yo. Just thinking about how far music came thanks to him alone.
I think what really started hitting me was looking at how other people were reacting to his death. Like...I was fine at first. But finally getting a chance to see other people's reaction...it really is saddening.
From a musical standpoint...I mean...we just lost the biggest musical icon of all time...the definition of such a term. Like...wow. Even just watching his videos...everything just seems surreal.
I've been listening to his music all day. On repeat. It's just crazy man. I mean...I listened to it when he was alive...but does anybody else feel like everything he said has a much more deeper meaning now that he's gone? How come that's ALWAYS the case? With everything? Vincent Van Gogh...painter. Nobody appreciated his work till AFTER he died. Every great rapper...yes they were considered great rappers...but it's not until AFTER they die that they become untouchable legends. It's just crazy man.
I think what's most hitting me is how much his work went underappreciated. Don't get me wrong...I have always loved his music. But, it's not until he passed that I really was like...WOW...this is just ridiculous. Maybe I just feel like I underappreciated his music now that he's gone...which makes this all time-relative.
As yall may be able to see...I'm really just rambling right now. Trying to make sense of things if you will. Like...wow.
The older I get...the more I appreciate the value of life. I never really felt the pain of a death until my aunt died back in February 2008. I mean, I've known family members that have died, and other friends and acquaintances that have died from my school and whatnot...but I feel like I was young then, cuz it just really takes on another meaning most recently. I've never cried over a death. I've never really felt a heart-wrenching pain caused by a death or anything, the closest being my aunt. But the more I've gotten older...the more life just seems shorter and shorter...and more precious.
Add that with my love of music and music losing something truly great...I guess you can see where I'm going with that.
Or maybe not. Cuz I don't think I do.
yea...
I'm not depressed or anything either...it's just...mad crazy yo!
I just heard something that made me feel better.
Yall know my best friend Wesley. If not...I have a best friend named Wesley. Actually...see Friends.
Anyways...his parents are at my crib now...actin a fool! lol...anyways...they're talking about the Michael Jackson incident now...and they got on talking about him and James Brown and how we lost the both of them. This is what made me feel better. Just so you know...Mom is my mom...and Momma is Wesley's mom *yes I call her Momma*
Mom: "Michael Jackson is gone. James Brown is gone."
Momma: "And we're still here!"
Such a great way to look at it. They live on through us. :)
I really don't know what else to say right now. I really was just rambling. Besides...I have a VERY important enrty to post right now.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Real Talk Vol. 4: Nice guys don't finish last...IMO
Helpful people really do go a long way.
As a person that has worked in some sort of customer service position - whether it be fast food, cashier, telephone representative - done plenty of volunteer opportunities, and just overall raised to be a nice individual, I feel like it isn't only highly impressionable upon other people, but also self-rewarding.
I can definitely say that other people greatly appreciate nice people. I know i'm always given compliments from other people due to how naturally nice I am. Personally, I always try to make it a point to be as nice as possible to people...and hearing from other people how nice I am makes me want to be even nicer. Now...amongst my peers, I may sometimes may come across as a jerk sometimes (see Jerk), but it's truly just being comical and moreso welcoming to other people. I know one of my homegirls Raydia (Ray-Ray) didn't like me when she first met me. *She'll tell you. lol* I used to make a lot of jokes...and that's how I always am. but once anyone gets to truly know me...if you're on my good side...i'm really a nice and caring person...that still got jokes. lol
ok...enough talking about myself.
So yea...I feel like many people need to make a more concerted effort to be nice. Real talk. Not on no sappy, emotional tip either. Like, just for real. I went to McDonald's to get up on their breakfast this morning *I LOOOOVE McDonald's breakfast!*, and i'm making my order...and the lady was just extremely rude! Like you can tell she did not want to be at work, and was very salty for working at McDonald's as a 30+ year old woman taking drive-thru orders. Like yo...that's YOUR fault, but you shouldn't take that out on the other people that just want some damn breakfast!
Don't get me wrong...sometimes people deserve rude behavior and whatnot...and by all means, in those instances it is alright to display such behavior...however sometimes people just go out of their way to be everything but nice. and honestly, it's quite sad.
Maybe it has to do with the cliche "Nice guys finish last." I'm sorry...and excuse my french...but that's bullshit! Maybe in the short run...maybe...but life isn't a 100 meter dash! And even in the short run...is it really worth it? Life is a marathon...you don't wanna run too slow cuz you'll lose...but you don't wanna run too fast...cuz then you'll just get extra tired...and you'll still lose.
"Slow *living* is better than no *living*. Fast *living* don't last too long...you gotta pace it!" Big ups to Lil Wayne - Carter II off of...well...actually that's obvious. lol
Anyways...I say that to say this. I feel like people need to realize that being nice is actually a good thing! And I don't just mean being nice out of your own convenience, but just overall nice. It really does work wonders for other people's day, as well as your own inner being. I'm telling you...I speak from personal experience. It goes a long way!
HOLLA!!!!!
As a person that has worked in some sort of customer service position - whether it be fast food, cashier, telephone representative - done plenty of volunteer opportunities, and just overall raised to be a nice individual, I feel like it isn't only highly impressionable upon other people, but also self-rewarding.
I can definitely say that other people greatly appreciate nice people. I know i'm always given compliments from other people due to how naturally nice I am. Personally, I always try to make it a point to be as nice as possible to people...and hearing from other people how nice I am makes me want to be even nicer. Now...amongst my peers, I may sometimes may come across as a jerk sometimes (see Jerk), but it's truly just being comical and moreso welcoming to other people. I know one of my homegirls Raydia (Ray-Ray) didn't like me when she first met me. *She'll tell you. lol* I used to make a lot of jokes...and that's how I always am. but once anyone gets to truly know me...if you're on my good side...i'm really a nice and caring person...that still got jokes. lol
ok...enough talking about myself.
So yea...I feel like many people need to make a more concerted effort to be nice. Real talk. Not on no sappy, emotional tip either. Like, just for real. I went to McDonald's to get up on their breakfast this morning *I LOOOOVE McDonald's breakfast!*, and i'm making my order...and the lady was just extremely rude! Like you can tell she did not want to be at work, and was very salty for working at McDonald's as a 30+ year old woman taking drive-thru orders. Like yo...that's YOUR fault, but you shouldn't take that out on the other people that just want some damn breakfast!
Don't get me wrong...sometimes people deserve rude behavior and whatnot...and by all means, in those instances it is alright to display such behavior...however sometimes people just go out of their way to be everything but nice. and honestly, it's quite sad.
Maybe it has to do with the cliche "Nice guys finish last." I'm sorry...and excuse my french...but that's bullshit! Maybe in the short run...maybe...but life isn't a 100 meter dash! And even in the short run...is it really worth it? Life is a marathon...you don't wanna run too slow cuz you'll lose...but you don't wanna run too fast...cuz then you'll just get extra tired...and you'll still lose.
"Slow *living* is better than no *living*. Fast *living* don't last too long...you gotta pace it!" Big ups to Lil Wayne - Carter II off of...well...actually that's obvious. lol
Anyways...I say that to say this. I feel like people need to realize that being nice is actually a good thing! And I don't just mean being nice out of your own convenience, but just overall nice. It really does work wonders for other people's day, as well as your own inner being. I'm telling you...I speak from personal experience. It goes a long way!
HOLLA!!!!!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Walking In Deep Waters pt. 1
The perfect silhouette
No face, no features
An empty void
The shell of what could be
What should’ve been
What isn’t…
The light behind the figure
Illuminating the hope
The small chance
The possibility
And the maybe
Blinding me from the insecurities
The doubt
And the cold it embodies
It’s seeming darkness intriguing
The positive to my negative
Attraction inevitable
Yet it repels itself
Unattainable
Or am I standing still?
Afraid of the flaws
Rough edges
Blemishes
And imperfections I’m blinded from
In love with an outline
Complacent with the idea of perfection
But the darkness still intrigues me
So, I put my shades on
Ready to see the hope
The small chance
The possibility
And the maybe
Turn into an actuality
An assurance
A definite
As I make my way towards
The Perfect Silhouette
No face, no features
An empty void
The shell of what could be
What should’ve been
What isn’t…
The light behind the figure
Illuminating the hope
The small chance
The possibility
And the maybe
Blinding me from the insecurities
The doubt
And the cold it embodies
It’s seeming darkness intriguing
The positive to my negative
Attraction inevitable
Yet it repels itself
Unattainable
Or am I standing still?
Afraid of the flaws
Rough edges
Blemishes
And imperfections I’m blinded from
In love with an outline
Complacent with the idea of perfection
But the darkness still intrigues me
So, I put my shades on
Ready to see the hope
The small chance
The possibility
And the maybe
Turn into an actuality
An assurance
A definite
As I make my way towards
The Perfect Silhouette
Monday, June 8, 2009
Simple Pleasures
So I'm sitting on the golf course...well not really. I'm at the golf course, sitting at a table. lol whatever. Anyways...they're giving a few golf lessons to younger kids up here...so I took my 3 younger brothers up here to pick up on a few tips. I, personally, was trying to perfect my drive...the freakin ball keeps slicing to the right! IT'S SO FRUSTRATING! lol...but it's all good though. It's getting there.
So yea...their lesson is over now...and they want to hit the driving range a bit. So they're out there now...and i'm just sitting here on my computer...checking my e-mail and whatnot. So I'm looking at the boys golf...I look into the beautiful blue sky underlined by the peaks of the trees lining the driving range with the clouds swimming freely...and I feel happy.
Simple things like that really do go a long way towards happiness. I feel like people get so lost in trying to complete their goals, find a mate, become financially stable, and other things...thinking that once those things are found or accomplished, happiness will then ensue...when everyone can grasp a bit of happiness now and truly appreciate it.
It really is the simple things in life. Being able to appreciate beautiful scenery, doing something you enjoy *listening to music, laying pool side, being able to golf, etc.*, being able to watch your brothers do something they enjoy, just little things.
I challenge every one to do this...take a break from whatever it is you're doing...doesn't have to be a BREAK...but just a few minutes to yourself, and look out into space and let your thoughts cannonball into the sky as they swim with the clouds and drown in the cosmic scenery around you, creating a seismic wave of tranquility throughout your body and quenching the thirst of your soul. Now tell me...after you have done so...how much more relaxed and happy you feel.
Simple Pleasures. They make a world of difference. HOLLA!!!!!
So yea...their lesson is over now...and they want to hit the driving range a bit. So they're out there now...and i'm just sitting here on my computer...checking my e-mail and whatnot. So I'm looking at the boys golf...I look into the beautiful blue sky underlined by the peaks of the trees lining the driving range with the clouds swimming freely...and I feel happy.
Simple things like that really do go a long way towards happiness. I feel like people get so lost in trying to complete their goals, find a mate, become financially stable, and other things...thinking that once those things are found or accomplished, happiness will then ensue...when everyone can grasp a bit of happiness now and truly appreciate it.
It really is the simple things in life. Being able to appreciate beautiful scenery, doing something you enjoy *listening to music, laying pool side, being able to golf, etc.*, being able to watch your brothers do something they enjoy, just little things.
I challenge every one to do this...take a break from whatever it is you're doing...doesn't have to be a BREAK...but just a few minutes to yourself, and look out into space and let your thoughts cannonball into the sky as they swim with the clouds and drown in the cosmic scenery around you, creating a seismic wave of tranquility throughout your body and quenching the thirst of your soul. Now tell me...after you have done so...how much more relaxed and happy you feel.
Simple Pleasures. They make a world of difference. HOLLA!!!!!
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