Just Rambling

I just had to say...I'm feelin legit confused. No BS.

If you know me...you know I love music...no...I LOOOOVE music! I live through music. I do everything through/with music. Yes, I mainly listen to hip-hop...but it's far from the only thing...I just...love...music. Everything about it. I always have.

A huge reasoning for my love of music is due to Michael Jackson. Real talk. like...REAL TALK! I remember being at my grandma's house...and she had this black Michael Jackson shirt I ALWAYS wore when I slept over there. And I would be in that shirt, trying to sing his songs and trying to do the moonwalk and the crazy spinning.

It's really sad how people are most remembered AFTER they died. I mean...just as a very small example...Dolla. Not to make him seem unimportant *R.I.P.* but rarely anybody knew him before he died. *By raise of hands...how many even know who I'm talking about?...don't worry...I won't judge you.*

Anyways...yo...I was watching all the tribute shows/music videos/news reports on Michael Jackson today...and it just gets me more and more sad as time goes by. Like...I grew up on this guy...still can sing a good majority of his songs by heart. It's crazy yo. Just thinking about how far music came thanks to him alone.

I think what really started hitting me was looking at how other people were reacting to his death. Like...I was fine at first. But finally getting a chance to see other people's reaction...it really is saddening.

From a musical standpoint...I mean...we just lost the biggest musical icon of all time...the definition of such a term. Like...wow. Even just watching his videos...everything just seems surreal.

I've been listening to his music all day. On repeat. It's just crazy man. I mean...I listened to it when he was alive...but does anybody else feel like everything he said has a much more deeper meaning now that he's gone? How come that's ALWAYS the case? With everything? Vincent Van Gogh...painter. Nobody appreciated his work till AFTER he died. Every great rapper...yes they were considered great rappers...but it's not until AFTER they die that they become untouchable legends. It's just crazy man.

I think what's most hitting me is how much his work went underappreciated. Don't get me wrong...I have always loved his music. But, it's not until he passed that I really was like...WOW...this is just ridiculous. Maybe I just feel like I underappreciated his music now that he's gone...which makes this all time-relative.

As yall may be able to see...I'm really just rambling right now. Trying to make sense of things if you will. Like...wow.

The older I get...the more I appreciate the value of life. I never really felt the pain of a death until my aunt died back in February 2008. I mean, I've known family members that have died, and other friends and acquaintances that have died from my school and whatnot...but I feel like I was young then, cuz it just really takes on another meaning most recently. I've never cried over a death. I've never really felt a heart-wrenching pain caused by a death or anything, the closest being my aunt. But the more I've gotten older...the more life just seems shorter and shorter...and more precious.

Add that with my love of music and music losing something truly great...I guess you can see where I'm going with that.

Or maybe not. Cuz I don't think I do.

yea...

I'm not depressed or anything either...it's just...mad crazy yo!

I just heard something that made me feel better.

Yall know my best friend Wesley. If not...I have a best friend named Wesley. Actually...see Friends.

Anyways...his parents are at my crib now...actin a fool! lol...anyways...they're talking about the Michael Jackson incident now...and they got on talking about him and James Brown and how we lost the both of them. This is what made me feel better. Just so you know...Mom is my mom...and Momma is Wesley's mom *yes I call her Momma*

Mom: "Michael Jackson is gone. James Brown is gone."
Momma: "And we're still here!"

Such a great way to look at it. They live on through us. :)

I really don't know what else to say right now. I really was just rambling. Besides...I have a VERY important enrty to post right now.